KTz Preview Reviewz [Mary's Edition]

By Katy

This is a special edition of KTz Preview Reviewz for my sister, Mary. Mary sent me an e-mail several weeks ago demanding I get out a review on Brendon Fraser's new movie Furry Vengeance as soon as humanly possible. I wanted to do a quick sum up a few weeks ago, but I've only recently started living again, so she gets it today. Please enjoy, especially YOU, MARY.



  • I Love You Phillip Morris (Rated R for super gay love)


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    My Take: So, at first I was like.. I don't care what you think about Jim Carrey, I love him and I will give him the benefit of a doubt as long as he doesn't make anything even remotely similar to The Mask or When Natures Calls again. Then I heard that accent and thought, there's no way I can withstand that atrocious Texan attempt for a whole movie. THEN, I remember Ewan McGregor was in this movie and they fall in love and con people and make money and are awesome together. So, I'm totally in.

  • A Nightmare On Elm Street (Rated R for fucking being Nightmare on Elm Street, bitches).


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    My Take: Okay, I admit it. I have never seen any of the original Nightmare On Elm Streets. I feel it would be wrong to have my first viewing be that of an updated version. I can't complain about what they got wrong or the fact that all the updated technology loses the story or try to figure out why these teenagers look to be in their early 30's, rather than high school age. Hello, 1992 called, they want their questionably aged cast back. I guess I can still do that.

  • Furry Vengeance (Rated PG for Perpetual Gagging)


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    My Take: Hahaha. Oh, Brendon Fraser. Stop. Stop making movies. Stop ruining nature. And stop ignoring your child. This is like the IRL version of Over the Hedge, but way less amusing and adorable. I thought I could stomach this movie right up until the Port-A-Potty scene. Sorry Fras... that's where I draw the line. I mean, watching you get dumped in excrement is more enjoyable than a Vampire Weekend reunion concert, but knowing it's all fake burns the crying pieces of my soul. I hate you. I have no idea why there is a white ferret in the middle of the forest. And if Mary hadn't asked me to write a review specifically on this movie, I would have made this my first official boycott.




    I hope you enjoyed that.

    9 comments:

    1. JC is in a serious film about gay cowboys!?! I honestly couldn't tell, I can't watch that trailer now. But I would love to see it. I like it when you do more movies like this, great job KT!

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    2. You're the best! Anxiously awaiting your review for "Hillbilly Hamsters."

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    3. http://chicago.metromix.com/movies/movie_review/furry-vengeance-review/1907332/content

      the review i read on the bus this morning is pretty much word for word.

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    4. Furry Vengence also stars Brooke Shields.

      A Nightmare on Elmstreet is possibly the best horror movie ever made. The sequels are pretty much garbage, although fun garbage. The fourth one (I think, Glenn can confirm) is super gay. Gayer than any movie starring Jim Carrey, even The Number 23.

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    5. A few things

      1. Could you bring back your synopsis????? Even if it's only half true sometimes it's better than watching the trailers. We have plenty of readers over 45 who don't know how to play videos and I don't want them to miss out.

      2. The original Nightmare has held up pretty well almost twenty years later. I'm sure this will be as haunting and atmospheric as Rob Zombie's Halloween remake. Teenagers love to watch themselves get murdered.

      3. Furry Vengence is something I wouldn't even take my nephew too. Brendan Frasier has the worst resume of any "famous" actor living today or dead tomorrow.

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    6. lol @ you talking to brendon fraser. i agree with glenn re: synopsis, but these articles are still gr8.

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    7. Why can't we have both a trailer and a synopsis or is that too much to ask?

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    8. Ewan McGregor is making me sad. I used to have faith and now I cry. Why, Ewan, why?
      This article is fun, btw!

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