Life With Mikey [6-14-10]

By Mikey

My wife insists that we have unlimited long distance calls, even though neither of us make any. I could buy two board games a month with the money we're spending.

Cannonball Run II is one of the few sequels that are better than the original.

Coughdrops are like candy, or at least that's what my son thinks.

I just don't get the Marx Brothers. That guy doesn't talk, the other guy is Italian and Groucho has a fake mustache. How can they be brothers?

No matter how many sequels they make to Land Before Time, they'll never recapture the magic of the original.

How many Oscars does Jackie Chan have? I would guess three.

Kids don't play with slime anymore. Back when I was a kid, they couldn't get enough of it.

Lemonheads are terrible!

Is any game more pointless than darts?

I see more wig shops on my way home from work then I see book stores. It kind of makes you think, doesn't it.

Why did those little guys on Fragglerock build everything out of sugar? They were just asking for trouble.

I have never seen anybody eat a Chick-O-Stick.

I wonder if Simon the game and Simon Says were invented by the same person.

I feel bad for raincoat manufacturers.


  1. Fuck Cannonball Run II! I agree with you on Lemonheads, they're fucking awful!

  2. Raincoat manufacturers don't need your pity! They're successful businesspeople, asshole!! All you manufacture are idiotic observations about middle class minutiae!!!

  3. Some people see more liquor stores on the way home than gun or pawn shops. For others, it's vice versa. I think Mikey lives in a retirement community.

  4. Mikey obviously lives in the 'burbs.

  5. Long distance calls are an anachronism.

  6. "I see more wig shops on my way home from work then I see book stores. It kind of makes you think, doesn't it."

    think what, exactly? you are so fucking stupid.


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