Debate: Did O.J. Simpson Commit Double Murder?

By Jake & Glenn 

People may remember O.J. Simpson from Jay Leno's popular and hilarious monologues, but did you know he was also an alleged murderer and football player? While Judge Lance Ito may have danced his way into our hearts, people never really came around on O.J. after his circus-like trial. O.J. was never asked to star in another Naked Gun film as the classic character Nordberg or reprise his role from The Towering Inferno. He was convicted in some courts of public opinion but acquitted in others. Let this be the final judgment of the man who made us laugh, cry and cheer as he sat in the defendant's chair for the Trial of the Century.

Jake: O.J. Simpson was a hero. Then one fateful day in 1994, his ex-wife and her friend Ronald Goldman were murdered by some unknown assailant. Then there was this massive trial that captivated the entire United States, from coast-to-coast plus Hawaii, but not Alaska. Everybody had their own opinion on whether he was guilty or innocent. I believed he was innocent then and I still believe it now. Why would an ex-football player and movie star want to kill his ex-wife? He already divorced her, so why would he want to kill her too? Being divorced is enough punishment for any woman. O.J. Simpson, like his character in The Naked Gun series, is just a lovable oaf who would never harm anybody and gets himself into slapsticky situations. O.J. was as innocent as the jury found him in his first trial.

Glenn: As I sit here and breathe (heavily), I cannot believe you are making the claim that OJ did not kill Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ronald Goldman. If you want to talk about innocence, those two personified it - making their eventual murder by OJ all the more obscene. Nicole Brown Simpson was a beautiful woman and Ronald Goldman was a beautiful albeit Jewish man. These two people were in love and they had a close tie to each other that could not be cut. Unfortunately their flesh could, and OJ stabbed them both more times than Amadaou Diallo was shot by the NYPD. The mountain of evidence at the trial made it clear-cut that he was the killer. If he wasn't the killer, why would so many white Americans walk around today thinking he is?

Jake: If the evidence was so clear-cut why did the glove not fit? Like the old saying goes, 'If the glove don't fit, you must aquit.' O.J. Simpson would never stab anybody. Even if he were to kill somebody I doubt he would use a knife. Maybe he would use a harpoon or a broad sword, but definitely not a knife. He is a kind soul and a fantastic football player. A sports star would never do anything illegal, what would be the point? Sports stars are millionaires and highly respected by children and children at heart. Why would a role model do something to jeopardize their high standing in the eyes of so many Americans? O.J. would just have no reason to commit double murder, or even single murder. Between the glove not fitting and his fame & fortune, Simpson has to be innocent.

Glenn: You asked why OJ Simpson would kill his ex-wife and I thought the question so insulting I did not respond to it. But then you asked again. Do I really need to point out how many men kill women every year for leaving them? Divorce or not, men are the worst sex for killing their partners. We all heard the 911 phone call. He was a violent abuser! Just because he was a great football player and poorly acted in some comedies from the 1990s does not mean he treated a woman in a proper way, which would include not killing her. I suppose Jake would ask why OJ killed Ronald Goldman? Have you ever heard of jealousy? It is the reason most people commit murder. OJ probably thought Ronald Goldman did not belong with his ex-wife because he was possessive. That's motive. They were both near his house, it was late at night and he had access to knives. That's opportunity. He was acquitted because the cops who investigated him were racists and his defense team was better than the prosecution. That's American justice.

Jake: I guess we are just going to have to agree to disagree. I have not heard any of these alleged telephone calls. I only know what I remember from Jay Leno monologues and the episode of Roseanne where Jackie dresses like Marcia Clarke. Maybe my perception is skewed by all of the huge laughs that those programs delivered me due to the trial. There is just no way to tell. I believe O.J. Simpson is guilty and there is no way you can convince me otherwise. O.J. is a good father and an upstanding citizen. Sure, he may have stolen some of his own property back, but who hasn't? We are all guilty of that crime, even O.J. Simpson. One crime O.J. is not guilty of is murder. He never murdered me, he didn't murder you and sure as heck didn't murder Nicole Brown or Ronald Goldman. If you don't believe me, then ask Kato Kaelin.

Glenn: I did ask Kato Kaelin actually. I'm friends with him on gchat. He kind of evaded the question and then asked if he could stay with me in Brooklyn. If the crux of your argument comes down to Kato Kaelin as a witness, you should never become an LA County prosecutor. This was a saga that captivated us, from the first moment Nicole Brown Simpson's body was discovered to the slow freeway chase in the White Ford Bronco to Johnny Cochran making a mockery of our legal system and the idea of "reasonable doubt." If someone murdered my ex-wife and her friend, I would be furious. I would do everything possible to find the real killers and possibly kill them. That is justice to me, in the only way extrajudicial murderous rage can be justice. But OJ didn't kill killers - he killed two people in love because he resented them. I hope he finds his peace on a prison football team, the way the children from Sleepers did. But let there be no doubt: OJ Simpson killed two people and was set free. Maybe if he had been convicted, California would never have gotten as close as they are right now to electing Meg Whitman governor.

10 comments:

  1. Kato Kaelin is my favorite player in this murderous drama because our names are so similar. Also, because he lived in a pool house.

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  2. "Sports stars are... highly respected by children and children at heart" - love it.

    The main thing I learned from the OJ trial is if you commit a crime you should wear gloves that are slightly snug, because all people know murderers put comfort first even ahead of murderous rage.

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  3. i'm glad the OJ simpson trail is finally getting the attention it deserves.

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  4. You misspelling 'trial' as 'trail' is great because I did that every time I typed 'trial' in this debate. People just don't realize how hard writing these things are.

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  5. Believe you me, I understand. I wrote an article for a famous blog once and got a ton of comments. I know exactly what you mean when it comes to putting out great quality content like this exudes everyday.

    Good Job yall. My favorite part of written word ever is...

    These two people were in love and they had a close tie to each other that could not be cut. Unfortunately their flesh could, and OJ stabbed them both more times than Amadaou Diallo was shot by the NYPD.

    I never knew that O.J had the dexterity.

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  6. the OJ Simpson trail is the only trail more dangerous than the Oregonian version of our computered gamed-youth.

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  7. Glenn: "....Ronald Goldman was a beautiful albeit Jewish man"

    ?? What's your PROBLEM, man?

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  8. A sports star would never do anything illegal, what would be the point?
    ----HAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT A JOKE!!

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  10. Oj simpson was called the trial of the century for good reason. It was dramatic and gave courts TV a reason to exist. the celebrities the gruesome nature of the murders, The dramatic white ford brono chase the twists and turns in the story. While we all know how it turned out. outsourcing payroll processing

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