One Year In Texas Talk 7-28-10

By Nate 

One Year In Texas Talk is an answering machine we have set up to our OYIT hotline. Please call in and leave an anonymous message. If we deem it worthy, it will show up in this weekly piece. Tell us what's on your mind. It doesn't even have to pertain to the website!

Hot dog!

I have a question, I guess. In this heat, they provide places like the armory and the mall, and places that you can go to keep cool. Is there anywhere you can go and take your dog or your cat to keep cool? If there is, I’d sure like to know about it. Because in this heat my dog is panting, panting, panting.

Stop loafing and get a job

While many find the Republicans reluctant to extend unemployment benefits any longer than what they have been extended and extended, having seen just the examples of my two stepsons, both in their mid 30s, that would rather sit back on the state dole unemployment welfare than actually go out and get a job and support their families, it truly makes one wonder if candidate Angle of Nevada doesn't have it right where many Americans become spoiled of entitlement of unemployment and the extended vacation it gives them at the government's expense. Now mind you we live here in Southeast Missouri where costs are relatively small, but across this country, unemployment can be a pretty good living. The jobs that were created by the stimulus were government jobs, police, teachers, union employees, as I say, government. Where are the private sector jobs? Not because nobody wants to do it because of impending tax increases with health care and the like. Any time there are taxes on business, you don't make jobs, you kill jobs. What a fine way to buy the votes than in extending the unemployment. I say, get a job.

Attention all Nimrods

Yeah, this is to any Nimrod who doesn’t understand why we celebrate the Fourth of July. Maybe they ought to read the Constitution and the Bill of Rights and understand how independent we are and our ability to be able to print the crap in the paper that they wanted to. Anyway, wake up, Nimrod, it’s a free country. Enjoy it. We fought for it many years, many times.

Wait, the Farmer's Almanac predicted when school would start?

Well it’s obviously going to be a hot end of summer this year. Even the Farmer’s Almanac predicted it. What was the reason that we started school two weeks early? It must have been something really important because I don’t think anyone can remember. Was it because of test scores? How many hot days are we going to get this year?

Punish the wonderful employers

How many in the Heartland have been paying attention to the advertisements on television, particularly when it comes to the union construction ad that is running on television? Well, could that be that unions are fighting back against the recent incident at Fredericktown where those undocumented were caught at work sites taking jobs away from those journeymen union workers and preventing them their due? Now, I am not `00 percent against unions, but some do not act in a fashion commensurate with their charter, some through trying to get passing such laws by, by golly, you are in the union by the fact that you have a time card at the business and you are going to pay those union dues whether you want to or not. Americans, we are being sent down a path of Marxism. Unionism is at an all time high. We struggle with the invasions from the south, of poverty, drugs and crime that our government the only thing they can do is put up signs that say, "don't go here," and yet we have employers who will dump a journeyman employee at every chance just to put a few more dollars in their pockets and hire the undocumented. Until we start punishing the employers of the undocumented, we will be flipping hamburgers at our nearest fast food place for our children until they get done paying off this wonderful debt our wonderful government has put forth for them. Just a thought, America.

Guide To Summer tip: undressing to eat doesn't beat the heat

We own a restaurant, and a table of three came in, and one of the gentlemen was really sweaty. He came in, sat down, pulled his shirt off his back and draped it over the back of the chair as he was sitting down. This is the kind of stuff you see from the general public all the time. People, when you go out to eat, remember, well if at least it’s not an Olive Garden or some franchise like that, if it’s a family-owned restaurant, it’s like their house. Would you do that in somebody’s house? Also, please remember your manners; ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ go a long, long way. The general public is getting so piggish it’s amazing. Thank you. I love OYIT Talk.

Cue Bob Dylan, "Everything is Broken"

To President Obama and the 535 voting members of the Legislature: it is now official; you are all corrupt morons. The US Postal Service was established in 1775. You have had 234 years to get it right and it is broke. Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 74 years to get it right and it is broke. Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 71 years to get it right and it is broke. War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 45 years to get it right. One trillion dollars of our money is confiscated each year and transfered to the poor and they only want more. Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 44 years to get it right and they are broke. Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You have had 39 years to get it right and it is broke. The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen our dependence on foreign oil. It has ballooned to 16,000 employees with a budget of $24 billion a year and we import more oil than ever before. You had 32 years to get it right and it is an abysmal failure. You have failed in every government service you have shoved down our throats while overspending our tax dollars. And you want Americans to believe you can be trusted with a government-run health care system?


  1. I agree -- the general public is getting too piggish! That's why I only go to my private country club for nudity.

  2. This was funny. I love the first one.

  3. QUESTION: N8, are these still real messages, or are you making this up?

  4. Haha! I'm with Maddie. Still funny though

  5. Actually, these have all been real recently. I pull them from various newspapers. Sometimes I write them though.