Good Morning Students (and Teachers)

By Stephen 

Unless you are (or were?) homeschooled by fundamentalists, this week marks the beginning of a new school year. For students and teachers alike, this means another 9-ish months of baffling, awkward, occasionally erotic "educational" encounters and American Gladiator style physical challenges that nibble away at the psyche like a lazy moth in a closet full of old halloween costumes. Something to be excited about? Maybe! But maybe not...

Today's Most Important Meal (hint: not breakfast)

A break from class and a time to socialize with your peers, lunchtime is undoubtedly the most exciting part of any school day. It's even more exciting if your parents can't afford to feed you at home, like the child in the picture above. So sad.

Today's Best Break

Besides kittens, the only people who get naptime during a school day are kindergarteners and college students. Other age-groups caught napping will probably be disciplined, and rightly so.

Today's Most Embarrassing Moment at School

This may seem like it's only applicable to females, but just imagine how embarrassing it would be if the same thing happened to a young man!

Today's Suggestion

No more movies about adults going to back to school.


  1. Why do you assume that child can't be fed at home?

  2. Stephen, this GM is a strong comeback for you after last week's "incident". I'm so proud!

  3. This was good, although the end of it really makes me question my script in progress for High School Senior, a movie featuring an elderly man returning to high school in order to finish his education before he passes away.

  4. this post was extremely relevant to me.