Good Morning Operation Iraqi Freedom

By Stephen 

Last week marked the end of U.S. combat operations in Iraq AKA Operation Iraqi Freedom. Finally! What better way to commemorate this occasion than a retrospective?

Mission Accomplished

"Just kidding, ya'll"

Less than 3 months after the beginning of the U.S. invasion, President Bush announced the end of major combat operations in Iraq. Immediately hence, Iraq became a bloody cornucopia of sectarian violence and a military & political quagmire. Now that our war there has actually come to an end, most would call Bush's proclamation of "Mission Accomplished" premature. I like to think of it as prophetic.

Where Are They Now: Ahmed Chalabi

Who remembers this guy?! He's the one who "fooled" people like war criminal Paul Wolfowitz and NY Times journalist Judith Miller into believing Saddam had WMDs en masse. After the invasion, Chalabi's intelligence was proven to be entirely fabricated. Over the past seven years, he's been mired in a plethora of scandals, mostly involving SOP bureaucratic corruption but sometimes murder! Where is he now? According to Wikipedia "Chalabi had been placed in charge of "deBaathification" —the removal of senior office holders judged to have been close supporters of the deposed Saddam Hussein. The role had fallen into disuse but in early 2010 Chalabi was accused of reviving this dormant post to eliminate his political enemies, especially Sunnis. The banning of some 500 candidates prior to the general election of March 7th 2010 at the initiative of Chalabi and his Iraqi National Congress was reported to have badly damaged previously improving relations between Shias and Sunnis." Still up to his old tricks!

Au Revoir, Abu Ghraib

Yes, German Shepherds are scary. But not as scary as having your genitals iced, or being dragged across the floor by a rope tied to your penis, or being sodomized by a baton, or being forced to masturbate and fuck/suck your fellow inmates, or having phosphoric acid poured on you, or being raped, or being bitten by poisonous snakes, or being beaten to death. All of which happened at Abu Ghraib. However, judging from polls, public discourse, and popular indignance, these atrocities are less repulsive than the looming prospect of Park51.

I would have posted more, but reading about Abu Ghraib kind of depressed me. It's time to move on... to Afghanistan! Have a great day.


  1. I feel as liberated by this post as the Iraqis did after Operation Iraqi Freedom.

  2. Hopefully iced genitals, poisonous snakes, baton induced sodomy, etc. will all happen at the Ground Zero Gaybar, very near Park 51, which I think should be called "It's Raining Men" in honor know...

  3. This was brilliant Stephen. It reminds me of something I would write!

  4. omg @ scott's comment. if bush was anything, it was prophetic.