Scambait! FBI Edition

By Nate 
Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)
Anti-Terrorist And Monitory Crime Division.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation.
J.Edgar.Hoover Building Washington Dc
Customers Service Hours / Monday To Saturday
Office Hours Monday To Saturday:

Dear Beneficiary,

Series of meetings have been held over the past 7 months with the secretary general of the United Nations Organization. This ended 3 days ago. It is obvious that you have not received your fund which is to the tune of Eleven million Dollars due to past corrupt Governmental Officials who almost held the fund to themselves for their selfish reason and some individuals who have taken advantage of your fund all in an attempt to swindle your fund which has led to so many losses from your end and unnecessary delay in the receipt of your fund.

The National Central Bureau of Interpol enhanced by the United Nations and Federal Bureau of Investigation have successfully passed a mandate to the current president of Nigeria his Excellency President Good Luck Jonathan to boost the exercise of clearing all foreign debts owed to you and other individuals and organizations who have been found not to have receive their Contract Sum, Lottery/Gambling, Inheritance and the likes.

Now how would you like to receive your payment? because we have two method of payment which is by Check or by ATM card?

ATM Card: We will be issuing you a custom pin based ATM card which you will use to withdraw up to THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS per day from any ATM machine that has the Master Card Logo on it and the card have to be renewed in 4 years time which is 2014. Also with the ATM card you will be able to transfer your funds to your local bank account. The ATM card comes with a handbook or manual to enlighten you about how to use it. Even if you do not have a bank account.

Check: To be deposited in your bank for it to be cleared within three working days.

Your payment would be sent to you via any of your preferred option and would be mailed to you via UPS. Because we have signed a contract with UPS which should expire by the end of September 2010 you will only need to pay ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS instead of FIVE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS saving you FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS So if you pay before September 28 2010 you save FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS Take note that anyone asking you for some kind of money above the usual fee is definitely a fraudsters and you will have to stop communication with every other person if you have been in contact with any. Also remember that all you will ever have to spend is ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS nothing more! Nothing less! And we guarantee the receipt of your fund to be successfully delivered to you within the next 24hrs after the receipt of payment has been confirmed.

Below are few list of tracking numbers you can track from UPS website to confirm people like you who have received their payment successfully.

Name : Donna L. Vargas: UPS Tracking Number: 1Z757F991598420403 (
Name : Rovenda Elaine Clayton: UPS Tracking Number: 1Z757F991596606592 (

Note: Everything has been taken care of by the Federal Government of Nigeria, The United Nation and also the FBI and including taxes, custom paper and clearance duty so all you will ever need to pay is ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS.

DO NOT SEND MONEY TO ANYONE UNTIL YOU READ THIS: The actual fees for shipping your ATM card is FIVE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS but because UPS have temporarily discontinued the C.O.D which gives you the chance to pay when package is delivered for international shipping We had to sign contract with them for bulk shipping which makes the fees reduce from the actual fee of FIVE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS to ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS nothing more and no hidden fees of any sort!

To effect the release of your fund valued at Eleven million Dollars you are advised to contact our correspondent in Africa the delivery officer MR,JAY WILLIAMS with the information below,


You are adviced to contact him with the informations as stated below:

Your full Name..
Your Address:..............
Home/Cell Phone:..............
Preferred Payment Method ( ATM / Cashier Check )

Upon receipt of payment the delivery officer will ensure that your package is sent within 24 working hours. Because we are so sure of everything we are giving you a 100% money back guarantee if you do not receive payment/package within the next 24hrs after you have made the payment for shipping.

Yours sincerely,

Miss Donna Story

Note: Do disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming to be in possession of your ATM CARD, you are hereby advice only to be in contact with Mr. Jay Williams of the ATM CARD CENTRE who is the rightful person to deal with in regards to your ATM CARD PAYMENT and forward any emails you get from impostors to this office so we could act upon and commence investigation.

One Year in Texas
Scambait Division
Building Seven, New York, NY
Customer Service Hours / Memorial Day to Labor Day
Office Hours Most Mornings:

Dear Miss Donna Story,

It is high time someone from the FBI sent me a notice about the ongoing meetings of the last Seven Months. I have been monitoring them through my own channels and contacts within the secretary general of the United Nations Organization's office. I know they didn't end three days ago, but three weeks ago. Your deception has been noted, but in light of you singing my favorite tune, "Eleven million Dollars," I'm in a good mood and will not take this matter above your pay grade. (I will, however, be speaking to your superiors about your criminal grammar and lack of punctuation. You have swindled more punctuation from this correspondence than the amount of Dollars the corrupt Government Officials swindled from my inheritance!)

Though on the matter of the boosted exercising of Mister Good Luck Jonathan, I will have to commend the cooperative efforts of The National Central Bureau of Interpol, the United Nations, and the Federal Bureau of Investigation. They were able to make His Sexcellency (as I and People Magazine refer to Mister Jonathan) honor my Nigerian Contract Sums, Lottery and Gambling winnings, Inheritance and the likes in only Seven Months. Frankly, I was expecting it would take Seven Years. This has got to be the most spectacular feat of Bureaucracy ever executed! If only Max Weber were alive to see this. What a triumvirate you three make!

Now, on to the issue of receiving my money, I have several issues with your ATM proposal. First, I am insulted by your patronization. Of course I know how an ATM works. I do not need a manual! Second, this is completely impractical. If I were to withdraw $3000 in cash everyday, where would I keep it? Third, have you done the simple math as to how long it will take a person to withdraw Eleven million Dollars at a rate of $3000 per day? It would be exactly 3666.66666666666666667 days! Calculating weekends and Bank Holidays, it would take me more than Fifteen Years to withdraw the entire Sum! And consider the unknowns. Will Mastercard still exist in Ten Years? Will you be able to provide me with a new ATM Card in 2014, 2018, and 2022? This proposal is most certainly indecent. I would rather eat all the babies in Ireland than go through with this.

Because of the absurdity of your first proposal, I am going to negotiate the payment of the Eleven million Dollars on my terms. You are going to comply because I have directed my private Security Contractor forces to apprehend Miss Donna L. Vargas, Miss Rovenda Elaine Clayton, and your African contact Mister Jay Williams. They are being held in an undisclosed location and will be released upon completion of my demands.

You are not to deviate from these instructions:

1. Using the FBI wing of your tri-bureau operation, you are command the Treasury of the United States to receive and then transfer the Eleven million Dollars to Fort Knox, Tennessee, where the money will be exchanged for Gold.

2. My private Security Contractors will arrive at Fort Knox to receive the Gold and transport it to an undisclosed location.

3. The Treasury of the United States will cease to a) leverage tax evasion lawsuits against my Gold Company, "A.U., Give Me Your Cash for Gold!," and b) agree to not tax my clients for the business they conduct with my Gold Company.

4. Those three steps are to be completed within Three Working Days, NOT Three Weeks, upon receipt of this email. Failure to comply will result in an unfortunate outcome for those in my custody.

Those are all of my demands.

It's been a pleasure doing business with you... so far,

Mister Nate
One Year in Texas
Scambait Division
Building Seven, New York, NY

1 comment:

  1. Finally someone with the guts to stand up to the FBI and FBI-related activities.