Good Morning Three-Day Weekend

By Keelin 

Good morning. Hopefully you're reading this at work, where you've already mentally checked out in preparation for the weekend you're about to spend drinking from a beer cozy and saying things like, "I can't believe how much air that jet ski caught!" The three-day weekend is as treasured an American tradition as union busting, capital punishment and Mom's apple pie.

Also, unless you're in the Klan, this is your last chance to wear white until next Memorial Day.

Today's Three-Day Weekend Weather

The weather will be lovely, but a bitter breeze will sweep through your heart, reminding you that all your cherished memories of summer fun are nothing but figments of your fevered brain. Also, there's a thirty percent chance of rain on Sunday.

Today's Three-Day Weekend Fact

Much like the first Thanksgiving, the first three-day weekend can be traced back to a heartwarming collaboration between our native American and pilgrim forebears. Lo these many years ago, settlers held off giving a local tribe small pox infested blankets until Tuesday, thus granting those peoples a "three-day weekend" before death. Wonderful!

Today's Three-Day Weekend Prediction

Like all holidays, this one will disappoint. You will immediately start looking forward to the fun of Halloween. Your costume choice? Slutty blog reader.


  1. That girl on the right is BEEautiful!

  2. Someday I'm going to jump on board the 3-day weekend train. Until then, I'll keep working, and needlessly slaughtering Indians, so you don't have to.

  3. Kaleena has to work on Monday, but she gets paid double! So that's pretty amazing.

  4. keelin, you know me so well. i started thinking about my halloween costume last week.

  5. Please don't stop wearing white people.

  6. I'm wearing three right now!!@!

  7. This is a very interesting post to me really.