What Movies are Out in Theaters? (12-10-10)

By Jake 

Here are some synopses of movies that open today. I assume that these are what these movies are about. I watch TV shows online and rarely see a film in the theater, so I do not see a lot trailers. I apologize if I am off, but I find that pretty unlikely.

The Tourist
Angelina Jolie stars as the titular tourist. She boards a train, much like the one in Unstoppable, and sets off to see some sites. This train is filled with a variety of idiosyncratic characters, so she holes herself into her personal car in order to avoid any interactions with these strangers. One stranger she does want to talk to is Johnny Depp.
Once they get to their destination, the popular tourist trap The Eiffel Tower, they travel to the top where they take photos in fun poses. This is the feel good movie of the year. See this if you like traveling and seeing Americans eat at a French McDonald's.

The Fighter
Mark Wahlburg stars as the titular fighter in this production. Christian Bale is his manager, an anorexic pony salesman. Much of the film centers around Bale trying to unload ponies on audience members as Wahlburg wins and loses his way into America's throbbing hearts.
This movie is essentially a remake of Rocky, but instead of chasing chickens, they occasionally ride ponies. If you enjoy ponies and/or boxing this is a must-see talkie. Oddly enough, there are no silent pictures coming out this weekend.

So are you going to see either of these? If so, why? You cannot think of anything else to do with your money than to see a movie made strictly for profit rather than for entertainment or the love of film? Here are some ideas of things you could spend $15 on: three $5 DVDs from a store like Target or Wal-Mart, 15 hamburgers from McDonald's (hamburger eating contest?) or just donate it to David Duke's presidential campaign. Or you can save your money.


  1. I don't see why you can't organize some sort of David Duke fundraiser in CONJUNCTION with one of these movies, such as renting a theatre and charging people $25 to come see the Fighter and hear a recorded speech from Dr. Duke.

  2. "See this if you like traveling and seeing Americans eat at a French McDonald's." jake, you know my heart.


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