Existential Meditations 3: Tokyo Drift

By Bub 

The nuclear blast was the most terrifying and beautiful thing the bomber pilot had ever seen, until the day he saw two nuclear blasts go off at once.

An abortion doctor assassin, on trial for murder, upon being sentenced to life imprisonment says a Jewish racial slur under his breath directed toward the judge.

The sketch artist showed her patron his portrait and was confounded when he then evaporated into a mist, fogging up her glasses.

The door-to-door computer salesman misguidedly went to Crate & Barrel seeking treatment after contracting tetanus from a rusty kitchen knife.

The janitor emerged from the women's bathroom after cleaning it to discover a single foot long turd floating down the hallway.

A tornado sucked a pregnant horse out of a barn and deposited it onto the roof of a McDonald's two miles away. The foal was stillborn and dozens of frozen burger patties were destroyed after defrosting during the power outage.

The Ojibwa halfback carried the ball for over one hundred yards but dropped the winning dream in the end zone.

A mouse gnawed its own paws off in a futile attempt to escape from a misfired mousetrap. It bled to death four millimeters from a small hunk of plastic cheese.

A Mandarin speaking permanent U.S. resident suffered a stroke and lost all language capabilities. Then, spontaneously, understood Arabic for five minutes before dying.

The walking tree developed a severe limp and was subsequently ridiculed by a row of hedges.

A firetruck loaded onto the back of a barge in order to transport it to extinguish a lake fire, runs out of fuel halfway to its destination.

As a camera crew ate silently while the father at the next table berated his son for being 'inconsiderate' for ordering 'the steak', the restaurant's hostess refused to seat a high school soccer team.


  1. These are great. I was going to try one of my own but didn't know if I was up to it.

  2. Very funny. One of the funniest things Ryan Gosling has ever been associated with.

  3. I think I've reached enlightenment. Thanks!