Untertainment Weakly (5-27-2011)

By Jake 

“Titanic” --the movie, not the ship--is being rereleased theatrically in 3D. That movie is seriously bad. I was actually shocked by how terrible it was.

So pop stars are basically just softcore strippers now?

Anna Kournikova will be taking Jillian Michaels’ place on “The Biggest Loser” next season. Still, the real biggest losers are the people watching this show. Hey, it’s a hacky joke, but I cannot resist.

Showtime has canceled “The United States of Tara.”

Ben Still says that “Zoolander 2” could be on its way.

There’s a Sarah Palin documentary/propaganda film on the way.

Movies Out Today
Kung Fu Panda 2 - I did see the original Kung Fu Panda and it was pretty good. In fact, today brings two sequels of which I have seen the previous film. Obviously, I will not be heading to the local multiplex to catch this film, but I’ll watch it when it’s on DVD. I have no problem with Kung Fu Panda. It features two of my favorite things: kung fu and murderous, cute bears. I still do not understand why they pay celebrities like Angelina Jolie to do voices for cartoons, as children do not give a shit about Jolie’s voice--they only care about her tits.

The Hangover 2 - This is the sequel to “The Hangover 1” and it most likely is “crazier” than the first. I think I enjoyed the first film. Every time I reflect on it, I think I hate it, but I reviewed it on my movie review blog and gave it an 8. Clearly, I liked it a bit. People are going to see the shit out of this movie. “Bridesmaids” was lucky to come out when it did, pulling in over $60 million and making Kristen Wiig in to a big star, before this flick opened. “The Hangover” is the highest grossing R-rated comedy of all time and this will likely surpass it. Also, I heard there are an outrageous amount of penises in it. So enjoy that.

Other Thoughts
If you have not seen the new trailer for “The Muppets,” you are missing out. It is one of the best trailers I have seen. I am a fan of The Muppets, of course, as I was born in the 80s, and I’m in the prime range for its nostalgia trip.

I probably will go to see this in the theater. Its release date is far away enough, so I can start saving up money to afford a ticket and start selling plasma so I can buy some popcorn.


  1. I will in fact enjoy those penises thank you very much!

  2. I love the Muppets so much too! I made Iris watch them almost everyday when she was 4 to the point where she would request 'Ben Vereen' by name!! I never joined the backlash against The Hangover and and am sure I will enjoy the sequel at least enough to have spent the time watching it!!!


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