The Meaning Of Life, To Me, Tonight

By Bub

Life’s meaning is relative to whatever and whoever you are. That is because life is inherently meaningless. Please don’t take that as nihilistic or cynical. The fact is that it just objectively has no inherent meaning. That’s OK though because we project meaning onto our own existence, because that is all we can do. We exist. And we have to justify to ourselves why we continue to exist everyday instead of not existing. Sometimes it is a very hard endeavor. But most days it does not enter into the equation. The following is an inexhaustive list of the meaning of life to me:

Watching the Thursday night line up on NBC, save ‘Whitney’

Checking Facebook to see what people have thought enough of me to make an interaction

Picking up my daughter from kindergarten and trying to make her laugh before we get home by suggesting that for show and tell she take a roll of toilet paper, and share with each classmate, one sheet

Checking in with my grandmother to assure her that I am still alive

Looking at exotic places on Google maps and concocting bizarre schemes of how I’d drive there

Buying a sack of 20 limes from the Mexican supermarket on my street for one dollar and feeling like I’ve won the lottery

Reading comedy that my friends write

Studying law and thinking how the accepted principles can be changed for the better

Watching Judge Judy and better understanding my follies than I would through studying law…

Watching Redtube whenever no one else is here

Eating the Indonesian instant noodles that I paid thirty cents for in Chicago by the Aragon Ballroom and feeling like I saved 8 dollars.

Throwing away the scraps of my daughter’s ‘projects’

Watching my daughter sleep and reflecting on how I can be a better parent

Re-reading Chekov or ‘Cruel Shoes’ when I should be doing my assigned school readings

Meeting an incredibly beautiful person I know I have no chance with

Realizing that everything is and always has been and always will be OK

Pissing a human in a car off for breaking for a squirrel

Trying to remember my ‘native’ Romanichal phrases for everyday expressions

Drinking Clover Valley diet soda

Helping friends whenever possible

Driving while listening to Earwolf podcasts

Listening to Bob Dylan and feeling morose

Smiling at everyone I have the strength to smile at

Beating my daughter mercilessly at Wii Mario Kart

Trying to love everything about this godforsaken world

Writing this

Falling asleep watching The Simpsons on dvd


  1. I like "Whitney" but soon it's leaving Thursday to make way for "Up All Night."

    Pornhub instead of Redtube

    I will beat you and Iris in Mario Kart Wii!

  2. agreed. My favorite was Meeting an incredibly beautiful person I know I have no chance with but I don't know why. I'm sure Glenn will weigh in though.

  3. Would it be weird if I borrowed your show-and-tell idea you had for Iris and took it to work? We don't have a show-and-tell time but I agree with you that it would be pretty hilarious to walk around handing out squares of tp.