Christmas Movies
My son doesn't believe in Santa Claus any more, but he still wants to watch The Santa Clause. Maybe he just likes the legal system.
"Home Alone" is a great Christmas movie that can be enjoyed all year long. I like when people get hit with stuff.
Tinsel
Putting popcorn on a string used to be a fun project, but now it is impossible for me to not eat all of the popcorn. I don't even like popcorn that much! Now it's all expensive tinsel strung up everywhere.
Ornaments
Ornaments only have one use--for my wife to waste our money!
Frosty the Snowman
Frosty the Snowman was turned into a real-life snowman with a magic hat. I find it weird that atheists believe in this story but have trouble with The Bible.
The Twelve Days of Christmas
I celebrate the 12 days of Christmas by eating a different Arby's sandwich each day. Today is the Ultimate Angus Philly and tomorrow is standard roast beef and some au jus, of course.
Christmas Songs
What is the Chirstmas equivalent of "The Monster Mash"?
Why aren't there any songs about Christmas? They're either about decking halls, Santa, bells, angels or Jesus. There are no songs directly about Christmas!
"Jingle Bell Rock" is my kind of rock and roll.
"I like when people get hit with stuff. is the most pedantic statement you have ever made, which as our readers can imagine is really saying something.
ReplyDelete"The Monster Mash" of Christmas is "Werewolf Midnight Mass."
ReplyDeleteEver heard of a little song called "White Christmas"? Oh no, why would you? They don't have radios under rocks!
ReplyDeleteWhite Christmas is about snow.
ReplyDeleteYou've probably got Arby's au jus dripping off of your disgusting bristly mustache and are thinking hateful thoughts about your poor wife as you are reading this comment. You are the worst human being on the planet. The Christmas equivalent of 'Monster Mash' is 'Passion Of The Christ' btw...
ReplyDelete