Mikey's Christmas Corner

By Mikey

Christmas Movies
My son doesn't believe in Santa Claus any more, but he still wants to watch The Santa Clause.  Maybe he just likes the legal system.

"Home Alone" is a great Christmas movie that can be enjoyed all year long.  I like when people get hit with stuff.

Tinsel
Putting popcorn on a string used to be a fun project, but now it is impossible for me to not eat all of the popcorn.  I don't even like popcorn that much!  Now it's all expensive tinsel strung up everywhere.

Ornaments
Ornaments only have one use--for my wife to waste our money!

Frosty the Snowman
Frosty the Snowman was turned into a real-life snowman with a magic hat.  I find it weird that atheists believe in this story but have trouble with The Bible.

The Twelve Days of Christmas
I celebrate the 12 days of Christmas by eating a different Arby's sandwich each day.  Today is the Ultimate Angus Philly and tomorrow is standard roast beef and some au jus, of course.

 Christmas Songs
What is the Chirstmas equivalent of "The Monster Mash"?

Why aren't there any songs about Christmas?  They're either about decking halls, Santa, bells, angels or Jesus.  There are no songs directly about Christmas!

"Jingle Bell Rock" is my kind of rock and roll.

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Mikey's Corner

By Mikey 

After my article "Life with Mikey" got cut due to the economic downturn I was feeling pretty bad. I would sit at work and have all of these great thoughts and nowhere to share them. I couldn't figure out how to text so I never used my Twitter address that the OYIT people set up for me. So, I asked if I could have an article to share my opinions on some modern issues and check in with you kids every now and then.



Bazooka Joe
Whoever thought of combining comic strips with bubblegum is a genius. The gum is an 'A' and the comics are a solid 'A+.' The fortunes are pretty accurate, too, even after they just changed the zodiac signs.

SUVs
I drive a car like a normal person. I cannot stand people who drive SUVs. It's so hard to see around them and over them. Plus, I think they flip over. I'm pretty sure I heard that on the news about 8 years ago. Remember: nobody races SUVs.

Bush
Whatever happened to the popular alternative band from the 1990s, Bush? They were great. I guess the singer just hangs out with No Doubt all day. If they have a reunion tour I will buy tickets for me and my son.

Mickey Mouse
This cartoon character should be on a dollar! He is just so darn funny. I like his pals, too, but nobody can beat Mickey, not even Foghorn Leghorn.

Golf
They should rename "golf" to "zzzzz." It is one of the only things on TV that I find boring, besides C-SPAN. If I fall asleep while golf is on, wake me up when the strong man contest starts.

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