Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is in talks to play Hercules in an upcoming Brett Ratner adaptation. Brett Ratner says that in this movie “Hercules is a faggot.”
“Community” is returning March 15! “Parks and Recreation” will go on hiatus for five weeks while “Up All Night” finishes its season.
Warner Bros. is attempting to make a live action adaptation of the manga “Bleach.” I’d rather drink bleach than see this movie.
Edgar Wright will direct a film adaptation of the TV series “Kolchak: The Night Stalker” starring Johnny Depp.
TBS has extended Conan O’Brien’s contract through 2014.
Matthew Perry Watch: The actor joins the TV series of “The Good Wife” In a recurring role.
FX has renewed “Archer” for a fourth season.
Movies Out This Weekend
Wanderlust - Guess what, ladies and fellows? I want to see this movie so badly. This is directed by David Wain and written by Wain and Ken Marino. It stars Jennifer Aniston (America’s greatest actress) and Paul Rudd (America’s handsomest nice-guy). Sadly, “Wanderlust” is not opening in the theater nearest me. I will probably have to drive into Peoria, IL, to see it, or even worse, Pekin. Now, the real question is whether I want to see this movie bad enough to drive twenty minutes to see it. I’ll let you know next week, friends.
Tyler Perry’s Good Deeds - Hey, Tyler Perry is in this movie and you can tell by his name being in the title. This movie will be seen by fans of Tyler Perry, but it will be hardly seen by anybody else. Nobody else gives a fuck about Perry. I have never seen a movie by him, but I assume they’re like Christian versions of “The Klumps.”
Gone - Amanda Seyfried stars in this movie. Judging by the title, this movie could be about nearly anything. Is it about a ghost? a kidnapping? a missing cruise ship? an invisible man? a break-up? Nobody will ever know, not even the people who see this movie, because they will all be dead before the credits roll.
Watched a lot of movies this week, here is a list and ratings:
“Captain America: The First Avenger” 4.5/10
“Horrible Bosses” 7/10
“Battle: Los Angeles” 6/10
“Real Steel” 7/10
“Cowboys & Aliens” 6/10
“Final Destination 5” 7/10
“Super 8” 10/10
“Attack the Block” 9/10
“Ides of March” 6.5/10
“Black Lightning” 5.5/10