Scam Bait: Togo Edition

By Keelin 



Greetings Keelin,

Late Family Estate.

I'm Mr. Faye K. LAWSON (ESQ), Attorney to the Court of Lomé-TOGO. One of my client, Late Dr. Paul O., a native of your country, who shares the same surname as yours, died in an air crash in Benin republic on 26 December, 2003, at exactly 18:16gmt alongside his wife and their only daughter. After his death, investigation to lacate his relatives prove abbortive.

I put myself in contact with you to seek your help to share the money left behind by my client,a sum of (€6 million euro) is currently in one of the banks here with an open WILL.

Please contact me via the email for more details;
(fayeklaw@yahoo.com)

Best regards,
LAWSON CHAMBERS.
Mr. Faye K. LAWSON (ESQ)
Solicitors & Advocates
Block 2, Flat 5, Rue du Boulevard,
PB 333, Lome-Togo.

____________________________________________________


Greetings to you as well Mr. Faye K. Lawson,

First of all, let me compliment you on your evocative and trust-inspiring name. All lawyers should have the word "law" somewhere in their name, if only out of professional courtesy.

Secondly, thank you for informing me of the death of my relative with such tact and tenderness. To be honest, nobody in the family even liked Dr. Paul O., which is probably why we haven't noticed that he's been dead for seven years. His wife and daughter were OK, I guess, but we think they might have had a pill problem and anorexia, respectively. Also, they gave the worst Christmas gifts.

Anyway, it's good to know the exact time they died in case something creepy starts happening and we need to figure out if they are haunting us.

I've shared your email with the family and we are all wondering what Dr. Paul O. was doing in Benin. We knew he was in deep with the cartels, but we always imagined he'd die under suspicious circumstances in a Latin American country -- certainly not in your esteemed republic!

In terms of claiming my inheritance, why don't you just send me your ATM card with the PIN and I'll withdraw the money myself? You'll save a ton in transaction fees!

Most eagerly awaiting your reply,

Keelin

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Good Morning from OYIT [Tues March 10th]

By Kaleena

Good morning, good afternoon, good night - whichever it may be for you, I'm glad you decided to spend your time reading this article. This is one of my favorite OYIT contents and I am glad to have the opportunity to add to this unique experience.
As my introductions are usually pretty much crap, let me just begin the article yes? Yes.




I would like to start the day off with some observation and reflection. Much like the rest of the world, the weather itself seems to have forsaken poor Africa. A few suns and even fewer clouds lazily hang on the very edge of the continent, not daring to get too involved. Guess who had all the suns and clouds? You guessed it - the white man! More specifically,the U.S. and Europe were hording all the bountiful suns and clouds it could gather with their weather magnets. For shame Northerners. I am calling for a fair distribution of weather. I plan on meeting with those responsible and making this right as the rain that should be falling on the Sahara.

What's the best way to make metal stick together and possibly acquire third degree burns? Welding! I have become fantastically interested in this useful trade when I recently realized - with the help of the awesomely bad-ass television program 'Mythbusters'- that you can make a lot of awesome and generally useful things when you know how to weld properly. And with the variety of techniques that require an equally wide variety of gaseous and electrical explosive materials it's bound to pack the punch of fun all ages can enjoy! I recommend hitting up your local library for some welding instructions, followed by a quick shop-stop by the hardware store for materials and you're set for a day of family fun. Kids will love it! Though if you're a good parent, grandparent or guardian, you probably won't let them do it on their own. Unless, of course, they're unusually responsible.

Finally, this weeks winner of a 4-star sex shop is - 'Good Vibrations' in Boston! Congrats 'GV' on your fabulous reviews, excellent selection and friendly, personable staff. Apparently, they have an absolutely amazing selection of condoms - just look at the colors! One visitor raved of a "utopia" while another deemed "classier than Condomworld." It would seem that a trip to Boston without a stop at this sexxx-shop would be entirely unfulfilled. Though it doesn't carry a variety of S&M merchandise, it would seem there is no other place better for toy selection and, lest we forget, the prodigious selection of condoms and lubes. I know I wouldn't pass on this opportunity for almost anything.


Have an explosive day and remember to be grateful for all the clouds and suns that bless our great land.

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