Showing posts with label B. Show all posts
Showing posts with label B. Show all posts

Good Morning Heavy Petting!


By Scott B 


Good morning divination fans! As most of you know, OYIT began as a fan site based upon a shared love of all things future-forecasting. So in the spirit of our mystical relationship with the united nature of time, I threw the I Ching, rubbed my crystal ball, and read bird entrails this morning. Here are your predictions for today:

- Finally, after a deal ending DADT in the United States military, the esprit decorps of our nation's hired killers drops to pre-mandatory drug test era levels.

- Elena Kagan's SATC2 scene leaked.

- Will Folks caught heavy petting with Rand Paul behind a burned down Shoney's outside of Louisville.

- Lady Gaga's penis does interview with Defamer.

- J.D. Hayworth declares that according to his history, the Mongolian Empire never dissolved and Humphrey Bogart never died.

- The BP spill rises and crests at the point on the Tulane campus where an intoxicated Andrew Breitbart decided that being called racist is worse than actually being racist.

- Bobby Jindal resurrects M. Night Shyamalan career by allowing him to film documentary on New Orleans. The twist is that it's already dead.

- Sue and Glenn accidentally wear the same shirt.

April Cargo Cult



By ScottB

A cargo cult is a type of religious practice that may appear in traditional tribal societies in the wake of interaction with technologically advanced cultures. The cults are focused on obtaining the material wealth (the "cargo") of the advanced culture through magic and religious rituals and practices, believing that the wealth was intended for them by their deities and ancestors. - Wikipedia


BOOK: "American Studies" (2002) by Louis Menand

Centering mostly on the intellectual/cultural history of 20th Century America (duh, it's Menand), this book acrobatically straddles the divide between T.S. Eliots' antisemitism and the codependency between the SAT's and the hydrogen bomb. And yes, it's true that most of Menand's paragraphs end with a joke.

Album:"Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere" (1969) by Neil Young and Crazy Horse

Less radio friendly than "Harvest," Neil Young's first album with Crazy Horse offers more to get lost in. Some artists, like Springsteen, take an environment you thought was simple (farms, cars, summer) and transforms them into mobius strips of beautiful complexity. Neil Young takes complex themes (ephemerality, Nietzchean emotional politics between hippies, disillusionment) and makes them cartoonishly simple. And it rocks. There's something life-affirming about walking home through Brooklyn in the rain listening to "Down By The River".

Movie: "The Human Spark" (2009)

I have a soft spot in my heart for PBS docs. I've always wanted to see them get BBC levels of funding and production quality. At least we have Alan Alda to host our shit! And in "The Human Spark," his sincere interest in human origins bubbles over into a childlike enthusiasm. It's like having Hawkeye as a science teacher.

Food: CT Style Lobster Rolls from the Red Hook Lobster Pound

If the cheap, high quality fixed-gear bikes and turn of the century subway maps don't lure you to the Brooklyn Flea, then the lobster rolls from the Red Hook Lobster Pound should. Connecticut style consists of a buttery meat claw sauté, topped with chives, and served on a lightly toasted bun. I wouldn't just die for it, I'd kill you just to eat it out of your mouth.

Cargo: Blublockers and a Stuffed Bat Inside of a Crystal Ball

-The Zach Galifianakis look alike who sold them to me said: "Blublockers...well buddy, now you're on top of the world." But I couldn't respond because my breath had been taken away.

-Those who truly love me know that my Spirit Animal is a bat. I'd like to think that the purchase of my stuffed bat inside of a crystal ball represents my final and lasting victory over the beast inside.