Good Morning Heavy Petting!

By Scott B 

Good morning divination fans! As most of you know, OYIT began as a fan site based upon a shared love of all things future-forecasting. So in the spirit of our mystical relationship with the united nature of time, I threw the I Ching, rubbed my crystal ball, and read bird entrails this morning. Here are your predictions for today:

- Finally, after a deal ending DADT in the United States military, the esprit decorps of our nation's hired killers drops to pre-mandatory drug test era levels.

- Elena Kagan's SATC2 scene leaked.

- Will Folks caught heavy petting with Rand Paul behind a burned down Shoney's outside of Louisville.

- Lady Gaga's penis does interview with Defamer.

- J.D. Hayworth declares that according to his history, the Mongolian Empire never dissolved and Humphrey Bogart never died.

- The BP spill rises and crests at the point on the Tulane campus where an intoxicated Andrew Breitbart decided that being called racist is worse than actually being racist.

- Bobby Jindal resurrects M. Night Shyamalan career by allowing him to film documentary on New Orleans. The twist is that it's already dead.

- Sue and Glenn accidentally wear the same shirt.


  1. At least one of those things has already happened. I'll leave it to you to figure out which...

  2. Bobby Jindal looks exactly like M. Night!

  3. hahah, i'm even more excited to see sex and the city 2 now!

  4. This was great! The conception of AB deciding that being called racist was worse than being racist was so great - I am picturing him weighing it out, considering arguments in favor and opposition etc., really thinking about it and still coming to that conclusion, I'll be laughing about that for a long time

  5. I just got around to reading this and it was like reading the news from Tuesday.

  6. Reading OYIT is like getting the newspaper a day in advance. Coincidentally this was also the plot of the hit CBS TV show "Early Edition."