"Addicted To Chocolate: A Short Play"

By Scott

Setting - A bakery counter at a Jewel grocery store.

(Lights go up on a bakery counter a Jewel grocery store. We see Shad, a 51 year old baker, preparing dough of somesort.)

Shad: (talking to himself, gleefully) Tra-la-la! What shall you be, Mr. Dough? Perchance a cookie? Perchance a cake? Whatever you shall be shalt be s'wonderful!

(Brandi, our antagonist, approaches the counter. She is wearing a big dress. She is fat in addition to being 42 years old. She reeks of fries.)

Brandi: (gleefully) Now there's the man I need to see!

Shad: (laughs) Uh oh! Hit the "Brandi alarm"! Watch out!

Brandi: (laughs) Oh cut it out! But a man who knows his way around a dessert, call him a DREAM man!

Shad: Right, right.

Brandi: Anyway, I need my fix.

Shad: (laughs) A fix? Oh Brandi!

Brandi: I know, right? It's like I'm ADDICTED TO DESSERTS!

Shad: (jokingly uses a chocolate chip cookie as a "cigarette") Huh? How about this? Huh?

Brandi: (beside herself in laughter) That's it! That's it! (shifting focus) Ok. Hmm, what to get today. How about that. That cake. That whole cake!

Shad: (slight chuckle) Right. Yeah, the whole thing.

Brandi: No no. I wish, though! It looks good. Go ahead and give me a piece.

(Shad cuts a generous piece of the German chocolate cake, places it in a Superbowl-themed, football shaped to-go container, and hands it to Brandi, who at this point has gathered saliva on the corners of her mouth.)

Shad: Tra-la-la. One piece of cake for Brandi!

Brandi: Thank you...so much. This is gonna be gooOOood. Ya know, forget everything else. Chocolate. That's it. That's where it's at!

Shad: Hooray!

Brandi: I'm addicted to chocolate!

Shad: (grimly) As I am t'ward you. (Lights fade slowly as "Live Your Life" by T.I. feat. Rihanna plays softly in the background.)


  1. HAHAHA! Someone's crippling addiction was never so funny. And the lovable baker! And the surprise ending! AND RIHANNA! You're a regular Kentucky Nelson!

  2. Fabulous! I love that T.I. ft. Rihanna song.

  3. It's a lot funnier when you realize that this short skit is the reason you have quit every comedy writing workshop you've ever been a part of.