To the Purveyors of TopTenSluts.com

By Bryan

To the Purveyors of TopTenSluts.com:

Let me begin by saying this correspondence is not in any way an attempt to defame or deride the content of your website: TopTenSluts.com truly DOES provide the best in amateur sluttery and whoredom. While most pornographic website titles/domains are mere exercises in hyperbole, your website honestly does offer top ten quality sluts on a daily basis.

That being said, my complaint arises from your billing system. When I went to purchase a subscription for your website, I was greeted with the assurance that my credit card would be “discreetly billed” with the charge being attributed to an entity named “PayFriends LLC.” This was definitely a concern for me, as my wife handles our finances, and were she to see some charge from a pornographic website located on my monthly statement, she most certainly would not approve. So this bit of subterfuge was something I was definitely in favor of occurring.

The problem came when said bank statement was received. Sure enough, the charge was attributed to “PayFriends LLC.” However, this charge was also a bit of a curiosity to my wife. So what did she do? She typed “PayFriends LLC” into Google. Do you know what the first search result was? “I have a charge to PayFriends LLC on my credit card. What is it?” I think you can guess what the rest of the site says. Apparently, TopTenSluts.com is the ONLY purveyor of PayFriends. If PayFriends is only associated with TopTenSluts.com, then how exactly am I to explain that mystery charge away? If a simple Google search can spoil my entire charade, what good is it at all? Next time, just charge the account with the institution name of “Graphic depictions of hardcore anal sex, double penetration, and bukkake.” It honestly wouldn’t be any worse.

Enclosed you will find an invoice: it is the bill for both the marriage counseling sessions I am being forced to attend, as well as compensation for my time away from work due to attending weekly sex addict group meetings.

Thank you for your time.

P.S. Wednesday’s update was your best yet! Keep up the awesome work!

3 comments:

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