A Week in Review Through Haikus [1-11-09]

By Jake

A feature that I would like to keep up is a week in review told through the Chinese poetry known as the haiku. Don't get it confused with former WWF wrestler King Haku. Also, if you'd like to request subjects for haikus, feel free to email me at jake@oneyearintexas.com.

Steven Tyler, Man
Yes, Dude Looks Like a Lady
What a shitty song

Scarves tied to mic stands
Alicia Silverstone cries
Joe Perry solo

Living on the Edge
Eat the Rich, Angel, Crazy
All on Get a Grip

Kabuki makeup
Smeared on Steven Tylers' Face
I was left Cryin'

Did you know the band
Aerosmith are AKA
Bad Boys From Boston

From Mount Olympus
Zeus created Aerosmith
Thunder did rumble

Joe Perry standing
on train tracks, oh wait
maybe that was Slash

Joey Kramer drums
Tom Hamilton, Brad Whitford
They could die, who cares?

The band Aerosmith signed to
Columbia Rec.

Demetrius and
Doolin smoke hitters. Oh shit
I see a cockroach

From 2002
Comes Aerosmith's #1 Fan
Liv Tyler will scream

O.J. Simpson Jokes
Kato Kaelin on the couch
Dancing Judge Itos

It's Andy Rooney
Angry about computers
Yes, he blames Bill Gates

Windows 2000
You might be a Juggalo
A correlation

Punch the rear view mirror off
It is Miller Time

Burrows versus Britt
Judge Judy lays down the law
Favors the plaintiff

Harry Reid: asshole?
Stop calling Obama a
Nigger, that is rude

Charles in Charge of
Of my days, nights, wrongs and rights
Buddy, the best friend

Pembrooks or Powells?
Charles is shocked to find that
He will make a choice

Is Ryan Gosling
As important to this blog
As it may seem? Yes.

Nicole Eggert and
Josie Davis are Powells
Gwendolyn Pierce

Rod Blagojevich
Is getting impeached for what?
Damn Re-Bum-licans

Bonus haikus:

Suck a Llama's dick
Headbutt by Wesley Willis
Rock on Chicago

Love Wesley Willis
Yes, Rock and Roll McDonalds
Rock on Chicago

Yes, Showbiz Pizza
Is Chuck E. Cheese's Pizza
Time Theatre now

Showbiz Pizza is
Where a kid can be a kid
Now Chuck E. Cheese's


  1. Jake, I never thanked you for these haikus. I have loved haikus since I was a little boy. I would walk to the library on weekends and read Basho, and then think about 17th century Japan during commercial breaks of the Fox afternoon movie (either Overboard, or Beverly Hill Cop).

  2. This is going to be a weekly feature. I love haikus, too. They are the only kind of poetry I find legitimate besides rapping (because they talk about things like hos, bitches, weed, money, purple drink and 'hittin it raw').

  3. Okay, I can try it out for Sunday maybe. People better comment though!