Good Morning from OYIT [Mon Feb 16th]

By Glenn

Good morning. I apologize for how heavy and sad last Friday's Good Morning post was. It probably ruined your weekend as it did mine. To make up for it, today is only going to be about happy things, like clear rural roads, ghosts and powerful women. I went to two parties this weekend and but all I could think about were the victims of Continental 3407 and no one wanted to talk about that with me. They just wanted to play beer pong. Today's entry is in memory of those people but in a happy way - like a few weeks after the patriarch of a family dies and it's finally okay to make jokes about it.

[Patriarchs dying is a pilot plot device used on many shows, such as Six Feet Under and Brothers + Sisters. Both star Rachel Griffiths and both are good, but Six Feet Under is my favorite show of all time.]

Today's Weather

It's important not to ignore the other coast of our country - the one that brings us such beautiful things as grunge music, Hollywood movies and environmentalism. When I can look at a map like that and see the Western part of the United States is going to have such a relatively easy day of traveling, it makes me want to pick up my copy of On the Road, read it and then drive straight (no pun intended) out to San Francisco. It's a great day for traveling in the "Mormon West" (Wyoming, Idaho, Utah, etc), so no doubt all of their Republican CongressMEN and Senators on recess this week will have a great time visiting their constituents in small towns along rural roads with 90 mph speed limits. Today the roads on Interstate 15 are as clear as the morality in supporting civil unions.

Today's Holiday
President's Day USED to be called George Washington Day. During the Church Committee's investigation of government abuses in the 1970s, we discovered that President Washington had ordered the illegal kitetapping of Benjamin Franklin. The public outcry and confusion led to the changing of the holiday's name. Now ALL Presidents are honored, even ones as fat as William Howard Taft or as religious as George W Bush. While Jesus may be the latter's favorite philosopher, the "son of god" will have no place in our lives today - at least until the day he, like the latter, becomes the son of a president or a president himself. Today think about all the people you know who might become President one day and think about the ways you could help them. Get rid of their enemies.

Today's High Level Diplomatic Journey

As the only female President to be honored on President's Day, you might think Hillary Clinton should be back here in America where she belongs. But that's sexist, outmoded thinking. Besides, she's on a groundbreaking trip to Asia as the first female Secretary of State:
Clinton has been under pressure from activists. Seven human rights organizations wrote her a letter this week to urge that she give the subject prominence.

Clinton will be meeting with Chinese women and members of civic organizations, and aides have said that the subject of human rights was likely to come up in private conversations with them.
I hope Secretary Clinton reads that letter and that she brings up the issue of human rights to her Chinese counterparts. I work towards the same goal in my day to day life by ordering Chinese food and not paying for it unless the owners have previously disclosed ympathy with the Tienanmen Square uprising of 1989.

Today's Prediction
but with Hillary Clinton instead of Tank Man, with the ghosts of all former Presidents instead of tanks, and on Interstate 15 instead of on T-square.


  1. You mention two things I dislike in this article: Six Feet Under and On the Road. I don't love grunge music, but I like Pearl Jam and some Nirvana.

    You do mention one thing I like: The tank man. I was just reading about him last night. That tank didn't run him over. Instead a group of people dragged him out of the way right into the open arms of Chinese police who then murdered him.

  2. this is the second time you've mentioned on the road in a good morning post. can you please do a "today's quote from on the road" sometime?

  3. oh and today's prediction is the most accurate yet.

  4. HRC is not the first female SOS, Glenn. I think you're forgetting Condi Rice.

    Also, I can't wait to vote for THE FIRST UTAHAN PRESIDENT IN 2012!!!!

  5. The government of Pakistan has buckled to the demands of the Taliban and agreed to let Swat and the entire Malakand region to be ruled by Islamic Law.