Good Morning from OYIT [Thurs Feb. 5th]

By Jake

Morning has broken. That's what Yusef Islam would say if he were writing this article today, but he's not. I am. Morning is as fixed as it ever will be, in my opinion. I'm by no means shit-talking Cat Stevens, I love his music. I'm just saying, morning is not broken. For example:

If morning was truly broken, then how would all those airplanes be able to fly. Cat Stevens, you were wrong on this one.

Peanuts Character of the Day: Lucy
Lucy is Charlie Brown's main antagonist. She pulls the football from him because, deep down she knows that, as a woman, she will never be able to play football in the NFL. While Charlie Brown may not have a real shot either, Lucy makes sure that he never gets enough practice to even try out. The discussion we should have is whether Lucy is a feminist for her actions or a monster.

Meditation Exercise
Close your eyes. Imagine you are on an large inner tube with seats facing inward. You are belted into your seat with a seatbelt strapped around your waist. The water rushes underneath the craft, slightly shaking it. All of a sudden a pressurized burst of water explodes in the distance. It baptizes you and your fellow shipmates. You're all slightly wet. It happens again. You're even wetter. You enter a dark, cool cave. You're calm now. Nothing bad is going to happen to you in this cave. Then you realize at the other end of the cave is a waterfall. You cannot escape your vessel and you end up completely saturated in the clear liquid. You now realize that this is not a meditation exercise, but rather the:

Water Ride of the Day: Roaring Riptides
Located at many different Six Flags locations, you are sure to cool off from a long day of riding rollercoasters on this lazy, wet rafting experience. My local Six Flags park, Great America (located in Gurnee, IL), has undergone many changes, yet this ride remains. This is the anchor in my life, which ironically is a raft in motion. From the very moment you leave your belongings with the ride attendant, until your return (now drenched in water) to pick those items up, you will be relaxed and surprised. Relaxed at the thought that not everything in life changes and surprised by the pressurized jets of water soaking you on an otherwise lazy rafting trip.

I will leave you with this video. This is not the video of the day, there's already too much stuff of the day for today. This is just a video you can watch. Perhaps it will better your life. I hope it does, but it most likely won't. If you want it to be something of the day, then consider it the Quantum Jiu-Jitsu Demonstration Video of the Day. I don't consider it that, though. Just keep that in mind.


  1. lucy is an antagonistic little bitch. she's like veronica from the 'archie comics', only veronica IS hot and lucy is most certainly not, but she likes to think she is. good grief.
    also, the ju-jitsu video led me to watching 3 more afterward, and i am going to watch even more.

  2. When I was in 8th grade, me and Jason G. and Josh N. went to Great America and got stuck in the elevator at the Gurnee Holiday Inn for several hours. The fire department had to rescue us, and the Holiday Inn put us up in a room with free pay per view!

  3. Holy shit! That's crazy. Holiday Inn was going to be the hotel of the day, but then I started thinking hotel, then I thought motel. Then I just gave up.

  4. Not that it has anything to do with anything, but my CAPTCHA for that last comment was 'gatorcan.' Now that sounds like something I don't want any of no matter what it is.