Happy Anniversary [One Month in Texas Edition]

By Jake and Glenn

One month ago today, the new One Year in Texas blog/online magazine was born. Though you've fallen in love with its current form, OYIT actually existed back in 2002 for three short, but excruciating, months. During that time Jake and Glenn were the primary writers, with a few contributions from Scott and one dynamic contribution from Bryan. They (and more) have returned for the new and improved version of the site, and the results have been beyond our wildest dreams.

We have put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into OYIT. More importantly, we have put into it a lot of text. Now we are ones for congratulatory pats on the back, and one need not look any further than the comment section to come to that realization. So, with this article we shall be sharing with you the highs of the first month of One Year in Texas. We will also reluctantly share with you the personal lows. Although, there are no lows when it comes to content.


What started out as a Charles in Charge (Pro and Con) and Aerosmith blog soon blossomed into something much more. Something much more dangerous, as Carlos Mencia and Kafka-esque articles soon started seeping into the blog destroying the very foundation like a twister sweeping through your intricately built city in Sim City 2000.

During week 2, each writer – like a true addict – decided to carve out his/her own special path to self-destruction. Jake kept his hard push towards popular culture, week in review haikus and other lighthearted matters, such as the dissolution of an American electronics institution and the societal fallout from it. Bub darkened the tone of OYIT with his forays into politics, terrorism and genocide. Glenn figured out a way to ruin everyone’s day with the beginning of his “Good Morning from OYIT” columns. Nate brought a much needed religiosity to the site while Bryan tore into fictional characters as if they were his own mother and father.


By the third week articles hit us like Hurricane Katrina and the levies were shattered like so much glass raining down on Charles Barkley's dome from a Shaq dunk. The site was flooded with 38 posts in one week. This is the week that set the overall tone for OYIT as a site. Kentuckytown was born, Good Morning from OYIT transitioned into regularity, the Mailbag made its very first appearance, and Bub kept his dominance with a variety of classic articles. The most shocking development was the number of new writers who joined and the number or writers who quit (much of them the same writers). We had articles from Scott, Caitlin, Hot Rod, Bryan, Brad, Josh, Nate, Maddie and to top it all off, we had a new president, Barack Obama. As soon as they came, it seemed like they were gone: Bryan, Caitlin and Maddie all vowed to put down the pen, at least for the time being. Jake berated Bryan in an ill conceived mass e-mail scandal that still has resounding effects on OYIT. Jake, the rattlesnake that he is, forced Caitlin and Maddie out with brutal deception. Jake also had the most controversial post, an article about Firefox add-ons, that nearly ripped Jake and Bub's friendship apart at the seams. All the while, Glenn sat at his desk chortling and lighting cigars with $500 bills.

Things calmed down on the site the following week, but only in the way Iraq "calmed down" after the surge. The body count went from astronomical to merely depressing, as Glenn's Good Morning articles steadily killed many of our most dedicated readers. Two new features hit: "Life with Mikey" featuring contemporary musings from a happy-go-lucky misfit that time forgot and "Hi Katy" where women could have their most practical problems solved by a hardheaded female. Much like they "hit" the website they were a hit with the most feminine and slow-witted among us. Kaleena came on board with a very vivid article describing how to plan a successful orgy and Bub wrote a Listmania column that realized Kaleena's vision by stimulating our literary clitori. The death of John Updike profoundly affected OYIT, until Jake sent out a mass email clarifying that the recently departed was the author John Updike not the handsome actor John Stamos.

This week has rolled off to a roaring start. We have added a new writer in Heather Joy, who taught us all about cussing and a little bit about ourselves (if you happen to be deaf). Jake, angry with Hollywood's lack of Dick Butkus TV vehicles, pitched an idea through an open letter to Hollywood. Glenn continued to be the Karl Malone of Good Morning articles, while Jake continued to act as his John Stockton when necessary. Bub posted articles that were obtuse, hilarious and touching without being sexually coarse, much like the other articles on the site. Katy continued to crush the dreams of women (like the 13 year old boys who crush on her) with her advice column. Mikey returned with the light-hearted sensibility of Of Mice and Men's Lenny Small to muse on diverse topics such as Bill Cosby and punk rock's rudeness. If things keep going this way, not only will the website snowball, it will cause an internet avalanche.

We sincerely thank you for your staying with us through the past month. Your readership and support - along with our actual server - is what keeps this site up and running.

9 comments:

  1. Where are the music posts that showed up this week?

    Also, remember when I quit for a week in early January as I was supposed to post "Eye of the Tigre," but was frustrated at my search to find the right music streamer, only to make a comeback upon the revelation that I should rewrite the Bible according to the New Twitter Version?

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  2. Nate, I didn't even know you had officially "quit." I remember that for a long period of time you didn't read OYIT, but then you started to. Now you write and the Twitter articles are great. Music posts are still on the front page and we didn't touch on everything. The two articles that are my personal favorites, of the things that I've written, aren't mentioned: my Zapped! article and my Dear John letter to God.

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  3. This is some great stuff!!! Fuck you all!

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  4. You are adept at humorously summarizing things that happen on this website!!

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  5. Thanks! We wanted you to help write this but you weren't online yesterday.

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  6. This article was way better before Bub deleted all of his articles. I spent so long putting links into this.

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  7. This is still very good. Maybe it didn't mean as much to people because they didn't realize how good it was.

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  8. The first month was the hardest.

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  9. Since then it's only gotten easier.

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no more comments from spam bots. fuck off.

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