Life with Mikey [2-11-09]

By Mikey

Hi folks, I'm here to amuse you (hopefully) with my musings.

  • Cathy is crazy. She loves chocolate so much!

  • I've never really known which side I fit on the pro-life vs. pro-choice debate, but I do know that the people who bomb abortion clinics are hypocrites.

  • You know what I miss? Poodle skirts.

  • Human cannonballs are the unsung heroes of the circus.

  • Arby's has the best roast beef sandwiches for the lowest price. Period!

  • Magic is overrated. It doesn't impress me in the least.

  • Maybe if Hardee's focused harder on making their roast beef sandwiches as good as Arby's, then they wouldn't have had to change their name to the Red Burrito.

  • When athletes need to use steroids to hit a ball with a stick, it's a sad day and age.

  • My favorite hotel is the Holiday Inn, step aside Raddison.

  • I feel that if I were to eat one more hamburger I'd get beef poisoning.

  • My favorite comic strip is Baby Blues. I love family oriented anything.

  • Cookies don't always crumble. Sometimes they are chewey.

  • Dennis Miller, that guy goes way over my head.

  • I once tried to get a Facebook account but it just seemed too difficult - like it was something only for young people. I feel the same way about email and having a mailbox.

  • Ross was always my least favorite friend on the sitcom Friends.

  • Whenever I turn off the lights and lie in my bed, I close my eyes and imagine different flavors of bubble gum. I write them down and send them to Bubbalicious.

  • Parachute pants were never that cool, but you still saw people wearing them all the time in the early 90s.

  • The phrase "big brother" is from the book 1984. I use the phrase even though I've never read it - don't tell the book police on me!

  • What was that puple stuff in those Sunny Delight commercials? I would like to try it to see if it's any good. They say it's not, but commercials are full of lies.

  • If Mike Tyson ever entered a restaurant I was in, I definitely would not ask for his autograph. I do not collect autographs of rapists.

  • I don't like John Tesh as an actor or a musician, but I like him as a guest on late night talk shows.

  • I wonder how much those cars monster trucks crush cost. Maybe they are donated.

  • My least favorite kitchen appliance is the zester.


    1. Mikey, you're winning me over. I agree with your stance on collecting rapists' autographs.

    2. Hardee's is so much better than Arby's. Everything at Arby's tastes like onions.

    3. Dennis Miller doesn't go over my head, but I still don't think he's funny.

    4. Mikey's column should be called Mundane Musings. "I don't like John Tesh as an actor or a musician, but I like him as a guest on late night talk shows." WHO CARES???

    5. I care, John Tesh is the devil.

    6. "You know what I miss? Poodle skirts."

      This is really great because it captures that sense of false nostalgia that conservatives and bigots alike use to goad hapless dolts like Mikey into supporting their regressive agendas.

    7. "You know what I miss? Poodle skirts."