One Week Entertainment [2-21-09]

By Jake

Back again for another week of entertainment news ripped from the web pages of I'm getting increasingly disinterested in doing this column, so if you would like to take over email me. I assume I will not get any email, since I haven't gotten a single one at that email address yet, so I'll see you next week.

  • ABC News anchor Sam Donaldson announced his retirement.

  • Friday brought Conan O'brien's last episode of the Late Show. It will be four months until Conan will be taking Jay Leno's place on the Tonight Show. Leno will be moving to the drama slot of 9pm (Central time) to host a variety/talk show, supposedly.

  • James Franco was named the Hasty Pudding Man of the Year.

  • Rihanna's father revealed to that there is some bruising. Mostly the bruising is on the hearts of teenage girls everywhere who loved Charlie Brown. Jay-Z asks us to imagine Rihanna is our sister or mother. Very gross, Jigga.

  • Sri Lankan Baile Funk/Rap artist MIA gave birth to a baby boy.

  • Michael Phelps will not be arrested over his now infamous "bong rip" photo, although he is slated to do the opening skit on Cypress Hill's next album.

  • Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes took their kids to Disney.

  • Nadya Suleman admits that she's not obsessed with Angelina Jolie. Too bad Kaleena cannot say the same.

  • Salma Hayek and French billionaire Henri Pinault married on Valentine's Day. Congratulations you two!

  • If Heath Ledger wins a posthumous Oscar, the award will go to his 3 year old daughter, who promises that it will have a stunning wedding with Barbie.

  • Tracy Morgan's shark tank sparked a fire in his apartment. Luckily, the fish are fine.

  • Kate Winslet vows to do no more nudity in films.

  • Robert Di Nero and Ben Stiller are in negotiations to star in another awful Meet the Parents sequel.

  • Max Weinberg is taking his band to LA for the Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien.

  • Lindsay Lohan is now skinnier than ever. When reached for a comment she said, "I eat. I ate a Big Mac yesterday." Hey, you gotta eat every day, you dumb bitch.

  • Clay Aiken has left RCA Records. Good luck Clay.


  1. i sent you an email, but i would totally take over this post. if it's one thing i know i'm good at, it's celebrity gossip because i love to see how rich people use all that free time and money-bastards.
    also, lindsay lohan shouldn't have gotten fake boobs before becoming anorexic. common rookie mistake.

  2. This was one of the funniest OWEs yet! There has been a hole in my life where jokes about Cyprus Hill had been which is now full.