Life with Mikey [3-30-09]

By Mikey

I caught my son downloading music last week. He was downloading Viva La Vida by Coldplay. I took him aside and explained how artists are getting poor because of downloading. He told me that Coldplay is really rich, which made my point look uninformed. I guess I'm just going to let him download as long as he gets that really good Cardigans album for me.

  • How can one man have as much talent as Dan Akroyd?

  • I would drive to Utah for a cherry Hostess Fruit Pie right now. Luckily they have them at the corner store.

  • I just don't understand why somebody would "huff" the fumes from gold spray paint. I guess it really does take all kinds.

  • I never read the Berenstain Bears books to my children, because I don't want to glorify bears.

  • Smarties have it made. The time you always see Smarties is when there's a parade. If they ever need to increase profits they can just throw a parade.

  • Nachos? Yes please.

  • They say the good die young. Somebody explain Don Rickles to me then, that man is a saint.

  • Dare? Double Dare? Physical Challenge? Sometimes life can be so confusing!

  • A few days ago I was in the basement playing with my toy train set when my wife comes down reading me the riot act. I hate when I get yelled at in front of my trains. Wifes...

  • If a turkey doesn't have stuffing in it, then it ain't a turkey.

  • So what am I supposed to do with the string after I have eaten the "beads" off of my candy necklace.

  • Why is Larry the Cable Guy funny? I just don't understand what all the hype is about.

  • My wife got me one of those giant Pixi Stix when she was getting Easter Candy for our kids. She might as well have just opened my chest and put a piece of lit dynamite right inside of my heart.

  • I accept all friend requests on Facebook even if I don't really know the person because who could turn down more friends?

  • I picked Gonzaga to win the NCAA basketball title this year, just like I do every year. The reason? Simple: it sounds a lot like Gonzo, my favorite character from the Muppet Babies.


  1. Did Dave Coullier ghost write this shit?

  2. i say it all the time but i <3 a platonic way. i also share his love of nachos.....i LOVE nachos. almost as much as burritos.
    hey mikey, if you've got a kitten that string from the candy necklace makes a great toy. for cats too!

  3. Dave Coulier wouldn't even use this shit in one of his "pretend" stand-ups he did on episodes of Full House, which were probably the only things worse than his actual stand-up.

  4. What a smart child.


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