Yep, Morning

By Jake

Hi. I nearly forgot to do this article. In fact, I was just in bed about to fall asleep when I remembered that we do this article on Mondays and it is Monday right now. So, you can rest easy knowing that you, the readers, care as much about this shit as I do. I don't mean to sound negative, but I can see how many people read these and it's not very many. Also nobody comments on the ones I write, which makes me second guess myself. Anyway, here's some videos and what not to start your morning. Try to enjoy it.

Here's a weird music video by the Italo Disco band Scotch. It's kind of like that one Cars video, except even dumber. The song is pretty good though. If you don't watch this video you do not deserve to be alive. That's a shoot.

Now, here's a website that we can all relate to. It's about the classic comic strip character that we all love to hate, Ziggy. Sounds great so far, right? Well, there's a twist. While Ziggy is great and one of the funniest characters on the funny pages, there's one thing that can make him even better: a nipple on his nose. Now imagine that. No, don't, just visit the website.

This video is my obligatory wrestling video of the day. It's a hype video for SummerSlam's "Match Made in Hell" where Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior take on some Iraqi sympathizers. My favorite horrible wrestling interviews have Warrior and Hogan talking to the camera in a studio, posting and saying things that barely make sense. This is one of those.

Well, there you go. You might be saying to yourself, "I rolled out of bed for this?" Guess what, moron, that what I was saying when I rolled out of bed to write it! So don't get cross with me. To the people keeping it real, God bless and good morning.


  1. thank you for this jake. my firefox isn't working, and safari doesn't play sound in videos anymore, so i just had to imagine what was being said. it may be more enjoyable that way.

  2. My internet is also too slow to watch any of these right now, but I remember the runup to that match. If Slaughter and company had won that match and Iraq won the Gulf War, this country wouldn't be in the sad shape we are now.

  3. WTF!? I'm never writing anything for this site ever again.

  4. no!!!!!! don't let me stupid computer get in your way of stardom.

  5. don't worry he's just got early-morning-dramatism.
    it warmed my heart to know this is why you rolled out of bed early,early,early this morning. i owe you a couple 'GM' articles, the way i see it.
    that italio disco video was awesome. especially when they start running on the record.

  6. I like to imagine you painting your face like the Ultimate Warrior in order to prepare for these articles.