My son keeps begging me to play croquet with him. I finally say fine and we're playing. It's fun. I like when you have to step on one of the balls and hit it into another ball. Sometimes I hope for an explosion, but it never happens.
- If you own a pair of Dockers, then I don't see why you need to blow all your money on blue jeans.
- In a past life, I think I was a baseball player. I really enjoy baseball games.
- Thousand Island dressing? Gross!
- My wife is slowly teaching me how to cook breakfast food. Someone warn the fire department.
- If I get one more piece of junk mail from my cable company I'm going to physically fight my letter carrier, Brent.
- Eyeglasses make me look smarter, but I'd rather squint and feel a lot younger.
- I will go to jail someday. Scary thought!
- I love taking my dog on walks, but picking up poop? Mercy.
- Everyone just please take a deep breath, let it out, and sit and watch the first several seasons of Rescue Me.
- July 4th, 2009 better be a good time or else I'm fucking outta here.
- I don't care what the Catholic church says, teenagers need to have safe sex. I'm sorry if that's a bit risque.
- If I'm at the theater, you know I'm enjoying a large popcorn and a cola.
- Ringo Starr is an underrated drummer.
- I was watering my lawn a couple days ago and my son comes up to me asking me what I'm doing. This kid needs to learn how plants grow.
- I've seen E.T. so many times, yet I still cry when he's sick.
- I did not care for the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake.
Mikey, you curse like a sailor in one thought, then apologize for promoting safe sex in the next, have you been off your bipolar meds?
ReplyDeleteRingo Starr is rated exactly how he should be.
ReplyDeletegod i love this so much.
ReplyDeletei was a little taken aback by mikey's swearing too. i guess we all need to accept that people change from time to time.
ReplyDeletealso mikey - have you ever tried thousand island dressing? i thought it was gross too, until i tried it. it's pretty delicious.
Sometimes people swear when they get angry. Grow up people.
ReplyDeleteThis is the most controversial Mikey yet. Let me throw in that I am also taken aback by Mikey's language. He's just talking about July 4th. Every year is the same. There's no reason to make such a threat.
ReplyDelete"If I'm at the theater, you know I'm enjoying a large popcorn and a cola."
ReplyDeleteMy amusement culminated in a genuine contraction of abdominal muscles at this one!
thing is, i always looked to mikey to be the calm voice of child-like reason in the world. hence why his harsh tones frighten me a bit.
ReplyDelete