Life With Mikey [5-11-09]

By Mikey

I've been reading this really good Garfield collection by the great Jim Davis. I like when Garfield can't kill spiders because it reminds me of my wife. She won't even watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch because of the spider Gremlin. She needs to grow up.


  • I hope this "Swine Flu" doesn't prevent me from eating bacon on sandwiches.

  • A dress shirt looks unusual when it's not tucked into pants.

  • Once the temperature reaches 90 degrees, my Gatorade intake nearly doubles.

  • If I could change one thing about rude drivers, it would be the speed at which they drive.

  • Denzel Washington's acting is miserable. He's almost deaf to comic timing.

  • As a Nation, we really got over the Minneapolis bridge collapse quickly.

  • On my way to work the other day, I rapped to a beat on the radio. It was really hard! I barely rhymed once.

  • What's the deal with these steroids in Major League Baseball? It's just sad is all I'm saying.

  • My son wanted me to buy him the new Akon album and got so mad when I brought T-Pain home. Like there's a real difference!

  • Dogs have the worst breath. I can't stand it!

  • Whatever happened to the Virtua Boy? Everybody loves the Wii so much, but nobody liked that.

  • I rarely drink, but when I do I like to get rootbeer Schnapps. It makes me wish I had a rootbeer float, though.

  • Adult swim is the best pool related invention since the high dive.

  • Folk music is so boring.

  • What happened to that band Sugar Ray? It seemed like their star would never stop rising.

  • 6 comments:

    1. Dogs do have the worst breath. That's an issue we can agree on, Mikey.

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    2. You owned a Virtua Boy. It's the reason you have to wear glasses.

      ReplyDelete
    3. I wonder the same thing about Sugar Ray, but I really want to know what happened to Vertical Horizon.

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    4. I want to know who the f Vertical Horizon is in the first place.

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    5. Mikey you are one of American's greatest secrets.

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    6. arachnophobia is no joke, mikey. ever gone into a coma because of it? well i have and it's just not fun.
      also, i think you should listen to your son when he tells you the difference between rappers and such. i know my parents and i would've been closer sooner if they had listened to me. that's all i'm sayin'.

      ReplyDelete