Waaaake Up! OyiT (May 22nd--2009)

By Gary

Well it's that time again. Time for everyone to wake up and do stuff. I trust that everyone had a good "it's new to me tv" night. I have seen every episode of the 30 Rock and The Office, so I spent the night doing something a little more productive. I watched two solid hours of So you think you can dance?.


Times I almost considered being racist

When I was working at a local Hy-Vee as a bag boy for a short period of time a black gentlemen brought a small basket of items up to the register. He proceeded to take out a HungryMan fried chicken dinner, a snickers bar, and a 20 oz bottle of grape soda. That was not the end. The man then asked the cashier for a pack of.....NEWPORTS.
If that wasn't enough he tries to pay for his items with a food stamp card. For the readers that don't know, it is against the law to purchase tobacco products with a food card. The only thing missing from the guys shopping list was a bottle of bubble bath.

So to recap:

Buys fried chicken, grape soda, and Newports. The black guy then tries to BREAK THE LAW by buying all this with a food stamp card. I was just about to feel superior until I realized that if the video below didn't make me feel racial superior then nothing would. (editor's note: this suppose to be Booker T's Hungryman fried chicken dinner commercial but I couldn't find it)

Art of the day

That's right the Ultimate Warrior is an artist now. Retired pro-wrestler, extreme racist/conservative politician wannabe, and now a full blown professional artist. He does "oil knife" paintings and since I don't care enough to research what that actually is, I will just assume it involves dipping a big ole huntin' knife in oil paints and using it like a paint brush. Warrior goes on to say, "...that its like as if sculpture is on the canvas." Its like that in the way that puffy paint is like sculptures on t-shirts.

I don't want to be to hard on The Warrior, because he is doing what he loves to do. That's more than 95% of Americans do. Although, I am going to be kind of hard on him when the thing he loves to do is knife paint shitty pictures of "cowboy" Ronald Reagan, call it "sunny personality", and try to charge nearly 10,000 dollars plus for it. Plus, I am sure the "knife-paint" community consists of almost exclusively of Reagan and flag paintings.

We laugh now. In our heads-- all readers are thinking, "who in their right mind...". I am going to stop you right there, because as we speak the guy below is saving up to put this very painting in his studio apartment in Wicker Park on his "ironic art" wall.

Whoa.... I didn't mean for this entire post to be so pro-wrestling themed. I knew if I started a GM with me thinking about me thinking about becoming racist it would almost certainly go down a pro-wrestling path. well for those of you not interested in pro wresting at least there is still time for the....

Music video of the day

Like I said before, I love hip-hop and I love def-jux, so I will just post the fourth video that comes up when I type in "Def-jux".

NOOOO! a Def Jux video featuring John Cena.

In all seriousness, here's my video for the day. It's by newly attractive, Def Jux recording artist, and Shia Labeouf's new BFF--Cage. The video is directed by Shia Labeouf and he makes a cameo. The new album drops in June and I am nervous based on this song (and others I have heard). Hell's Winter would be hard to top regardless.


  1. i am almost speechless - this post was awesome! video after video. and knife painting is not painting with hunting knives, though i'm not saying you can't do that. you SHOULD do that. it's painting with palette knives. it's my favorite way to paint.

  2. Really good job Gary. I enjoy the wrestling talk.

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  4. I never watched that Murs video til the very end, and if any one else hasn't, then I suggest you do it now.


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