Life With Mikey [6-15-09]

By Mikey

What a week. First, the kid (he's out of school now) breaks his arm skateboarding. This kid thinks he's Tony Hawk and he falls down in our driveway. Then the wife gets a speeding ticket. Like she needs to drive 55 miles per hour in a 35 to go buy a ham. Give me a break! Then I go to Arby's and order a roastbeef sandwich and guess what? I forgot my money! At least this week couldn't be any worse.

Why can't they make garden hoses more manageable?

Popeyes' chicken certainly is not the best.

The smell of wet dog always makes me gag.

"Duke of Earl" is not as good of a song as I remembered.

I would love to smoke a Cuban cigar, even if I don't agree with their politics.

I wouldn't ever take steroids no matter how badly I want to hit a home run.

Remember that movie Encino Man? Pauly Shore was a star that shined too bright.

If I get really angry or frustrated I just go outside and sidekick the heck out of the oak tree in the backyard.

If I could fix my own car I'd still have money in my bank account.

You don't see people wearing watches a lot these days.

I misplaced my pair of Oakleys.

My new thing is biscuits in gravy in the morning. Way better than coffee.

I have never had a successful arm wrestling match.

My guitar really needs a restringing, but I just don't feel like doing it. I'll just listen to Seven Mary Three instead of playing one of their hits.

There used to be so many detective shows on TV back in the day, now there's only cop shows about rape. What a world!


  1. Pauly Shore was a star that shined too bright? what the fuck does that even mean? and Seven Mary Three are awful.

  2. Garden hoses are pretty manageable in my opinion!

  3. "If I get really angry or frustrated I just go outside and sidekick the heck out of the oak tree in the backyard."

    what kind of sorry excuse for a man are you, mikey? grow some fucking b@lls! and jesus christ i hope you never find your oakleys. they are about lamest sunglasses EVER.

  4. i find the smell of a wet dog very erotic.

  5. I see people wearing watches all the time, you doofus!

  6. sorry, this is HUMANLIGHTBULB. i started a new blogggggg! it's called ward no. 6 after the russian short story about nutsos in a crazy house. i didn't want mikey or others to think i was just a random creep from the net. I BELONG HERE! just like all of you!

  7. Mikey I always have a watch on.

    The doofus comment.

  8. man mikey - what's gotten you in the emotional gutter? so your boy's being a boy. so you're wife could've killed said boy if she'd not been pulled over and repremanded for her actions. why don't you pay attention to the things that ARE going right for once? THIS JUST ISN"T LIKE YOU!
    btw - calling your son 'the kid' may end up costing you in his future "on the couch" if you know what i mean. just a friendly warning.