Life With Mikey [8-17-08]

By Mikey

I let my son borrow my sunglasses when he went to Six Flags with some of his friends. He lost them while riding Batman: The Ride. Then I got to go buy a new pair of sunglasses. Went to the Dollar General and got a great pair for $3.

I have never met anybody who got shot. I hope I never do!

I couldn't look more ridiculous when I wear sunglasses. If I want to keep the sun out of my eyes my best bet is a baseball cap. I prefer the Athletics.

Why would anybody listen to the Doors? I'd rather have my hand slammed in one.

All kids do these days is skateboard. At least it keeps them busy enough to stay out of my wife's garden.

Mighty Mouse doesn't impress me as much as you might think, especially with such a powerful name.

You don't hear much about the KKK anymore. They're probably still around, but they just aren't making the papers around here.

The holiday Halloween is scarier than the film Halloween to me. I hate giving away all that candy when I could be laying on the couch and eating it while watching Muppets Take Manhattan.

I'd be so embarrassed if I had a cleaning woman and she opened the desk drawer where I store my Arby's coupons.

I would probably throw up if I tried to do more than 10 sit-ups.

Am I the only one who loves a huge slice of watermelon on a hot day?

My favorite sporting event of the year is the NBA's dunk contest.

My high school experience was nothing like what they showed on Welcome Back Kotter.

I'd take David Blaine over Harry Potter any day. I'd like to see Potter hang upside down for that long.

Borat was the worst documentary I've ever seen, and I've seen all of Michael Moore's movies.

Dustin Diamond grew up to be quite a handsome man, all things considered.


  1. Dustin Diamond is a fucking creep!

  2. the film Halloween is scarier if you're getting stabbed to death by a 7 foot tall immortal monster!

    and the Doors aren't that bad. Maybe overrated, but I'd rather hear their slow jazz brand of rock and roll than I would have my hand slammed in a door.

  3. Mikey is throwing around hyperbole as if they were frisbees and he were frolfing.

  4. i actually i agree with you re: the doors. i'd also take blaine over potter. come to think of it, i haven't heard much about the KKK latley either. life with mikey could've been life with maddie this week!

  5. lol. It could be life with any of us, really. That's why Mikey is great. We all relate to his mentally ill ramblings. Especially those dealing with fishing.

  6. hi! i'm stealing internet at my new place!

    here's a good map if you want to keep up with the hate groups:

  7. I was at the Dollar General last week, too, AND was shopping for sunglasses. I was unable to find the right pair for me, though.