Life With Mikey [4-05-10]

By Mikey 

I'm glad April Fool's Day is over. My son sprayed me with a Supersoaker and I was so mad. I guess it's my fault for buying it for him in the first place.

I wonder if pickle consumption is down.

I wish Fran Drescher would get a new show.

I find coconut milk fascinating, but I don't care for the taste.

I have a great idea for a new kind of pretzel. I can't tell you, obviously, because you would steal the idea.

I've got to be honest, if there were zombies I'd be racist toward them. I'm sorry, that's just the way it is.

Tom Petty is better than any Jonas Brother.

What happened to Heather Donahue? I thought she was destined for greatness after The Blair Witch Project.

I haven't worn a fanny pack since some kids at Six Flags made fun of me.

I'm a fan of the Dutch so double Dutch sounds pretty good to me.

Fruit Roll-ups are not just for children. At least that's what I keep telling my wife.

If Mr. Magoo had contacts his cartoons would be a lot less funny.

MC Hammer should release another album. Maybe he could do a song with Vanilla Ice. That would be a smash hit!

I gassed up my mower.


  1. How the fuck do you find coconut milk fascinating? You and I are from two vastly different worlds, Mikey.

  2. mikey...what the hell. april fools day, easter and dyngus day and this is all you could come up with? seriously...start trying harder asshole.

  3. Zombies are humans, too, Mikey, just like Jesus Christ!

  4. lol who is tom petty there is no way he is better than jobros they r soooooooooooooooooooo good

  5. Coconut milk is delicious you racist! Especially to cook with!!