Scam Bait - Bolo

By Bub 

From: james adams
Subject: Dear Sir/Madam I AM Mr Pedro Lopez
Date: Tuesday, April 13, 2010, 1:01 PM

Mr. Pedro Lopez
Royal Bank of Scotland
José Ortega y Gasset 7 & 29
28006 Madrid,Spain.
Please send your response to (

Dear Sir/Madam
My name is Mr.Pedro Lopez, what I have that may be of interest to you is a business proposal that will benefit you.I work with the Royal Bank of Scotland here in Madrid Spain. The main reason I am writing to you is based on a Corporate Bank account that has been lying dormant for some years now, it was owned by a late Canadian industrialist.Due to my investigations, I found out that she died on 22nd of September,2001 from injuries sustained from an auto crash in venezuela, with no child, next of kin or relative.

But before her death she had mandated us to raise a draft to transfer the funds in her corporate account to one, Mr.Daniel Raul, a contractor, being payment for his contractual services for the supply and installation of drilling equipments, and aviation parts made as supplies to her oil servicing and aviation company in Venezuela.

Unfortunately he also died in the crash alongside with her while visiting her in Venezuela. The fact that Mr.Daniel is the supposed beneficiary of the funds is not known to anybody, except a few of us involved in this transaction. We have for many years made frantic efforts to trace any of his surviving relatives but to no success.If we do not trace any of his relatives, then the funds will end up being reverted to the British Government or repatriated to Canada. We are therefore soliciting your support in order for us to present you from the Company as the contractor who had actually executed the contract and is entitlted to the funds in the account as his contractual payment.

Once this is done, we will give a certain percentage of the funds to you and keep the rest for ourselves. I will inform you more on how to get the account transferred to you upon your response by email.I would want you to have it in mind that this project is 100% risk free. Also have it in mind that your area of specialization or Sex is of no importance to your helping us in this impending transaction please feel very free to contact me on this

Yours faithfully,
Pedro Lopez


Dear Mister Adams - or - Lopez,

Can I call you Bolo? I've always liked that as a nickname, though I've never heard it as one. It seems like a great median between the anglophone Adams, and the saucier Lopez (Was that racist? I apologize, you should be aware I am a racist). The way I see it bolos have never hurt anyone and being called Bolo wont hurt much either, unless I choose to make it do so. Be on guard.

So anyway, Pedro, I hear that famous Canadian Industrialist that had helped plot 9/11 was making her get-away down to South America and got into an auto-accident? Well, I can't say I feel terribly sorry her, for one thing industrialists generally build things so she sort of turned her back on her own philosophy, or family even, knocking them towers down the way she did. At the same time they always say (Mexicans that is) that you have to tear down to build. I keep telling them 'not if anyone didn't ask you to'. But they have reassured me someone has. And I never question a Mexican. They just have a look you can trust, what with those bolo ties and all.

So Jim, I have to ask, because I am a non-practicing Muslim, I converted around the time Muhammed Ali did but turned to agnosticism when Kareem Abdul Jabaar converted, what in the world are you doing with Osama bin Laden's money? Don't you know they've drawn and quartered a fellow just for giving his cousin a ride to the airport? No, sir I don't think I want to get involved with any mess like that. Plus, Jim, I'm independently wealthy. I have a nice little bolo tie empire that's stretched across the entire Pecos valley.

I am interested in that Mr. Daniels fellow however. I could use a contractor like him. I've got some fields out here in west Texas I'd like to expectorate. A gas man from Venezuela might just do the trick. Now, I'm aware he's dead. I wont ask you any uncomfortable questions, as long as you afford me the same courtesy. I'll go ahead and forego my portion of that international lottery prize you're giving me in return for Mr. Daniels' services. By the way Sex ALWAYS has something to do with it Adam, don't be ashamed to say it, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't inform Mr. Daniels.

Give me a howl.

Feeling very free contacting you,
Bolo King of the Pecos Valley
Oil/Sex Baron of the Dead


  1. It is nearly criminal how funny these are. Bub's fraudulent responses, however, are actually criminal.

  2. Hah! I'm not pretending to be a POLICE OFFICER!! Plus the International Convention on Absurdist Emails has an additional Protocol that covers this type of thing!!!

  3. This was hilarious as usual. I cannot believe you backed out of such a potentially lucrative deal, though.