Good Morning Heavy Petting!


By Scott B 


Good morning divination fans! As most of you know, OYIT began as a fan site based upon a shared love of all things future-forecasting. So in the spirit of our mystical relationship with the united nature of time, I threw the I Ching, rubbed my crystal ball, and read bird entrails this morning. Here are your predictions for today:

- Finally, after a deal ending DADT in the United States military, the esprit decorps of our nation's hired killers drops to pre-mandatory drug test era levels.

- Elena Kagan's SATC2 scene leaked.

- Will Folks caught heavy petting with Rand Paul behind a burned down Shoney's outside of Louisville.

- Lady Gaga's penis does interview with Defamer.

- J.D. Hayworth declares that according to his history, the Mongolian Empire never dissolved and Humphrey Bogart never died.

- The BP spill rises and crests at the point on the Tulane campus where an intoxicated Andrew Breitbart decided that being called racist is worse than actually being racist.

- Bobby Jindal resurrects M. Night Shyamalan career by allowing him to film documentary on New Orleans. The twist is that it's already dead.

- Sue and Glenn accidentally wear the same shirt.

6 comments:

  1. At least one of those things has already happened. I'll leave it to you to figure out which...

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  2. Bobby Jindal looks exactly like M. Night!

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  3. hahah, i'm even more excited to see sex and the city 2 now!

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  4. This was great! The conception of AB deciding that being called racist was worse than being racist was so great - I am picturing him weighing it out, considering arguments in favor and opposition etc., really thinking about it and still coming to that conclusion, I'll be laughing about that for a long time

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  5. I just got around to reading this and it was like reading the news from Tuesday.

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  6. Reading OYIT is like getting the newspaper a day in advance. Coincidentally this was also the plot of the hit CBS TV show "Early Edition."

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