Life With Mikey [5-10-10]

By Mikey 

There's this huge oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico. My first thought was "oh great, now the price of gas is going up." It did at first but now it's going down. Maybe we should spill oil into the Gulf of Mexico more often.

Peanuts in the shell might taste fresher, but they're not worth the work.

Are the Goombas in Super Mario racist, or is it okay because Mario is Italian?

Nobody does it better than Flip Wilson.

I don't care about Blu-Ray DVDs. In fact, I was perfectly happy with VHS.

The Milky Way is my third favorite candy bar and my second favorite galaxy.

Don't Break the ice has too much set up for very little payoff. Plus my son always wins.

Chicken livers might be gross to humans, but fish love them. I caught my biggest fish with livers.

When my wife makes pizza she never puts full hamburgers on it like I ask her to. Maybe I should do the cooking.

Hairplug technology really seems to be advancing.

Charles Bronson was a really good actor. I liked when he played a tough guy.

I wish there was something to put into cereal besides milk. Why don't the fatcats in Washington come up with something?

Limeade just doesn't seem like a real drink. I'm going to stick with lemonade for the time being.

I find struggling actors to be the most depressing people. Luckily I don't know any.

Ricky Martin is gay? I didn't even know he was still alive.


  1. Charles Bronson always played a tough guy, you dolt!

  2. do you have hairplugs, mikey? i loved chicken livers when i was a meat eater!

  3. If you want a hamburger Mikey go to Wendy's - if you want your wife to cook you pizza, stop giving her grief!!!

  4. hamburgers....on a pizza. i f*ing hate you and feel nothing but pity and remorse for your wife.

  5. Depends on where you're fishing, Mikey. I've done well with an artificial crawdad wade-fishing in creeks.