One Year in Texas Talk

By Nate 

One Year In Texas Talk is an answering machine we have set up to our OYIT hotline. Please call in and leave an anonymous message. If we deem it worthy, it will show up in this weekly piece. Tell us what's on your mind. It doesn't even have to pertain to the website!

A gentleman takes off his hat

I'm a 99 year old lady. I'm writing about the fellow who thinks it's all right to wear his hat to eat. Where is his respect for his other people at the table? A gentleman takes off his hat. Thank you. A reader.

They are good men

Yes, I would like to say thank you for bring smiles back to the website today. And also I would like to say happy wedding anniversary for two young people who were in the paper awhile back. They are dear people, Paul and his wife, and I would say this, he and a Mr. Adolf Oldrich are the only Republicans I ever voted for. They were good men. Every politician should be as honest and faithful as those two were, and I voted for them, but I am a born Democrat. Thanks and happy smiles on the website!

Calling out the Muslims

Well, the feathers or something hit the fan and the subject is Islam. Number 1, something Rev. Franklin Graham said months ago, and number 2, something on South Park about a picture of Mohammed. Fox TV Hannity featured this subject last week. His two panelists were Juan Williams and a woman who wrote the book entitled, They Must Be Stopped. Is the Rev. Franklin Graham the only one who is willing to call out the Muslims? Yet he is known to later soften what he said.

Who is going to call out the Muslims on loyalty to this country? Who called out the Ft. Hood shooter? Hannity's Fox news tackled some of it last evening with Juan WIlliams and the woman who wrote the above book. Mr. Williams said that Franklin Graham's statement made things worse for the troops. I usually side with Mr. Williams on his positions, but here I think he is dead wrong. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is going to make things worse than they already are. If you are dead, can anything worse happen to you? Well, perhaps having your head cut offafter you are dead by a Muslim, Jihad's further humiliation and you are promised a beheading if you insult Islam. Are you going to call out the clerics of Islam for their very public threats? How about bombarding this website with objections to the Muslim clerics getting a pass for this wild verbal flailing? Thank you.

Neighborhood is watching

Yeah, this is about the boy in the gold car, driving about 30 miles an hour down 312 Tuesday during the day and threw four little kittens out of the window. You got stopped and made to pick them up. We got your license number and called the police on it. You ar egoing to get a ticket. I hope you get more than for what you did to those little kittens. You deserve a lot more yourself. You need to be thrown out the window, there are about 20 people down in this trailer court who watches people like you. People dump them all the time. We take everybody's license plate numbers down here and we call the police on you.

This is no crank, son. You know you got stopped today and you will be getting a ticket any time now for doing it. I hope you go to jail. So all of you people who drop these cats and little kittens and stuff and dogs, on the highway, people are watching, especially down here on 312. Every neighbor down here watches for just like you and we take license plates down and we do report them. Thank you, Texas Talk, for the time.

Whales will bring economic relief to Michigan

Last week I was seeing the economic troubles in Michigan with the houses for sale for $100 and the car industry troubles. Well, I figured out how to bring it all back to the way it was in the 1950s, the prime of America in Michigan. The state and their Canadian governor need tourism money, and they need to do it with whales. Michigan is surrounded by water, so the whales will help them all over. Just put the whales in all the Great Lakes, then people will come to pay and see them on a boat. It's that easy. Of course, the state will also have to put salt in all the lakes to make it livable for the whales, but the costs will pay off in the long run especially if they can get a sponsor for the salt like Morton's or Saltine Crackers or something. You read it here first, Michigan. This is it. You're welcome.


  1. This is insanely funny. I think you should put a disclaimer at the end with a link to the real rural Missouri site where these comments came from. It's funnier to know these are real, and humor is also added by you pretending that these were calls to our website.

    If you did that this may quickly become my favorite thing on the internet.

  2. Haha, this reminds of when I used to work the newsdesk at the post on weekends and old people would call up and say stuff like, "Do you know where that buzzing noise on my street is coming from? No? Then can you ask David Brodeur?"

  3. haha, omg. i'm almost positive the first caller was my own grandma!!

  4. The newspaper these are from is not online for free. I was home over the weekend, so I found some papers to copy from.

  5. WE had these in our hometown papers too. They are so great.

  6. I KNOW, 'Speak Out'. But the Dispatch discontinued it. I used to have my grandma save that section of the paper for me every Sunday. It was my favorite thing in the world. And it disappeared. But now I have THIS!@

  7. I'm glad somebody sees the value of whales. They're huge, who wouldn't want to see them?


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