Au Jus...Oh My God!

By Mikey 

From the OYIT Vault:

You might have noticed that I like eating at restaurants if you've been reading my articles. By far, my favorite restaurant is Arby's. They have some of the best roast beef that money can buy, and that's where all my extra money goes. To paraphrase Benjamin Franklin, a penny saved is a penny to Arby's. My wife loves that one.

I would like to give you a quick tour of my favorite food place. I will also, for your sake, give reviews to the many delicious sandwiches you can purchase at Arby's.

I enter the door and am immediately taken aback by the smiles of the employees. I can tell that they truly love their job, and I am somewhat jealous. They work in one of the best restaurants. They are lucky.

I walk up to the cashier and order my usual, 3 roast beef sandwiches, curly fries and a vanilla shake. I am about to eat what the Greek gods ate. I don't really know what they ate, maybe worms. Who really knows? They probably would eat Arby's if it existed back then.

I sit down and taste my shake. It is amazing. I take a bite of my roast beef sandwich and I am in heaven. I have to check my pulse to make sure I'm still alive. The curly fries...good golly, they are superb! Some men enjoy golf, I have Arby's.

When I am done eating my great food and drinking my fantastic shake, I respectfully throw away my garbage. The employees are grateful of my courtesy (a thing most people are not aware of, especially bosses). I exit through the door with a smile on my face that shines so bright it could make the sun blush.

Reviews of Sandwiches

  • Roast Beef Sandwich
    The classic. It's hard to mess with perfection.
    Rating: 10/10

  • Beef and Cheddar
    This is when messing with perfection leads to something even better than perfection. This is perfection plus!
    Rating: 10/10

  • Super Roast Beef Sandwich
    This is another case of adding a few choice ingredients to the classic roast beef sandwich. This sandwich truly is super.
    Rating: 10/10

  • Arby-Q
    This is my illegal drugs. I don't use drugs, so I imagine that this is what drugs are like. This sandwich helped me understand the problems my brother was going through with addiction. I'm addicted to these sandwiches, and rightfully so: they're delicious!
    Rating: 10/10

  • Chicken Cordon Bleu Sandwich
    This sandwich is good, but it can't even touch the roast beef sandwiches. I can understand the reasons they put it on their menu, but it's just not for me.
    Rating: 9/10

  • French Dip & Swiss Toasted Sub
    This is the sandwich that gave me hope. When I was struggling in college, I went to Arby's to think things over. When I dipped this sandwich into Arby's savory au jus sauce it was a religious experience. I knew that God was trying to tell me to finish college, and that's what I did. You don't mess with the big guy.
    Rating: 10/10

    I hope this article helped you. It felt good to get this out of my system. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my chest. I hope the next time you're trying to think of a place to eat, you'll remember this article and stop in at Arby's for a nice meal made by people that care. Thank you.


    1. Despite all the grief I've given you, I want you to know Mikey, I love you.

    2. I've never met you, Mikey, but I do love sandwiches and, by the transitive property, all those who love them.

    3. Mikey is certifiable. I can't believe he was so harsh to the chicken cordon bleu sandwich. He must not like French food.

    4. this mikey at his best/ worst.