Good Morning Michael Jackson

By Keelin 



Good morning to everyone here on earth and in heaven. And by those in heaven, I of course mean Michael Jackson, who died one year ago today. (Unless he's secretly still alive as some YouTube videos suggest). Those of you who were alive one year ago may remember the devastation that gripped America upon the passing of this cultural icon. Those of you not alive a year ago probably can't read this anyway, so your value to society and this website is marginal at best.

Michael Jackson entertained the world for decades with his singing, dancing, and dermatology. And the anniversary of his death has hit us hard once again. In Denver, a polar bear named Frosty died of grief yesterday ("grief" is the lay term for "renal disease"). Mariah Carey, meanwhile, is dealing with this loss by buying all of Michael Jackson's old furniture and festooning it with butterflies and glitter. She read about this treatment in the DSM-IV.

Today's MJ Weather Forecast



Unfortunately, it's impossible to know the weather forecast because all the news networks are playing montages of Michael Jackson's videos on an endless loop. I'd say it looks kind of overcast right now, but I can't be sure since repetitive listening of "Thriller" has dulled my analytical abilities.

Today's MJ Fact



Unless you are Joe Jackson, there is probably nothing about Michael Jackson that you don't already know.

Today's MJ Prediction



You will see at least one guy dressed as Michael Jackson on your way to work. A little part of you will die inside.