One Year in Texas Talk 6-30-10

By Nate 

One Year In Texas Talk is an answering machine we have set up to our OYIT hotline. Please call in and leave an anonymous message. If we deem it worthy, it will show up in this weekly piece. Tell us what's on your mind. It doesn't even have to pertain to the website!

You can make meth with 5 Hour Energy drinks???

Yes, this goes out to my entire community. In all the liquor stores and some drug stores and other places where young people and some older people and children can see or buy those odd hour caffeine pills or anything else that does no have a perscription for it, that is what they are making amphetamines with, and they mix them with opiates, and when are we going to get smart and take it off of television? I saw the commercial 20 times today on the TV for different caffeine pills and things that they put in making amphetamines, so if you are smart, we take it off the counters. We don't put it out there where it is accessible, so if you would, if you are interested in any of the children here, be in search of things, I know they put different ingredients in it in different ways. But why do make it so easy for them to get hold of it? I am just a real concerned parent. Thank you.

Bless them, every one

To the person in my paper Wednesday, if you don't keep insurance on your car, then you don't get to drive. It is the law. Maybe if you had insurance you would still be driving. Thank God for insured drivers. From an insured driver.

You really needed to call the clinic, but you called OYIT instead?

Yes, I am calling in about Smith & Jones Clinic. We have been trying to call for 30 minutes and the phone just rings and rings and rings. Why does it take so long to get through to the switchboard at Smith & Jones Clinic? And they could be a bit friendlier and get new staff. They are not the friendliest people in town. Thank you.

Methinks thou doth protest too much

Rep. Maxine Waters in discussions held with Attorney General Eric Holder was so much more concerned about right winged terrorism in America and what Eric Holder was doing to squash militias and such activities in America than actually tending to, how shall we say, the terror cells that had somehow sprung up in Minneapolis by that Al Qaida terrorist that located there from Africa. How about the terrorists that are presently sitting in Guantanamo, and how about other Muslim terrorists that are currently setting sleeper cells across our country as we speak, but no, Maxine Waters is more concerned with the nine right wing extremists that were literally just vocalizing things stupidly on the Internet than the actualities of the kind of terrorists that were actually found in Minneapolis. What an odd, twisted world that we live in when Democrats can skew the direction of interest of actually paying attention to real terrorists in the world. In my opinion the terrorists we have sitting are sitting in Washington, and they are called our Congressmen.

The Whale Debate is back!

Yeah, I was reading about the brouhaha that was erupting over them Japanese whaling boats. If we go through with turning the Great Lakes into salt water seas with whales, couldn't we just raise a population of whales and start a conservation program for Native Americans and Japanese tourists to harvest them? Just a thought. Thanks.

It's all about the watersheds

Ok, listen up, whale people: if you did figure out a way to salinate the Great Lakes to a level where whales could live in them, it would just be washed out down to the Atlantic Ocean. THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE. STOP CALLING IN ABOUT IT!!!


  1. "They are not the friendliest people in town" -- that's been said of OYIT as well. We are the most concerned about whales and aliens, however.

  2. Ha, I can only imagine the calls next week about all of the alien content we've had recently. Still, nobody is writing articles about whales. Next time I write a GM, that's what it's going to be about.

  3. What?! You better not do that, Jake, or I'll start a shadow One Year in Texas.

  4. Haha. Fine! The last thing we need is a civil war on OYIT about whales.

  5. Can I be the Shadow Jake of the Shadow OYIT. I'm black, not racist just a fact, and i could theoretically be his shadow if we lived in an alternate universe with two suns.

  6. Haha! Jake should do a GM about whales and claim it is the only one ever about whales and decry the rest of us for not writing about whales!! This series makes me so happy, keep it up callers!!!

  7. My next GM will be about Michael Jackson.