Life with Mikey (7-19-10)

By Mikey 

The line in the post office is worse than the line for Batman: The Ride. At least you get a fun rollercoaster ride on Batman, the post office gives you a book of stamps with some jerk's face on it that you have to pay for.

Painting trees seems like a bad way to waste your time.

M*A*S*H is my favorite comedy about the Korean War.

Pharmacies are the only place I'd go for a malt.

I respect people who can do origami.

Pineapples are pretty dangerous. I won't let my son anywhere near a whole one.

The story of Jesus Christ is pretty sad. Judas was a Benedict Arnold.

I wouldn't even eat liver if Arby's came out with a new liver sandwich, and I try every new Arby's sandwich.

K-Mart is depressing, no matter how good their deals are.

John Candy is in some of the funniest movies of all time.

I want to visit the Ray Bans outlet store.

Jim Belushi is not a very good actor. Sorry, I don't mean to be controversial.

If I lived in Riverdale I would want to be friends with Jughead. That guy can put away hamburgers.

Why did Mr. Miyagi own a restaurant in Happy Days? Is Karate Kid cannon for Happy Days?

When was the last time Ray Stevens had a hit? The Streak?


  1. Mikey, when are you not controversial?

  2. How can you hate landscape painters but love origamists? Mikey, you are more inconsistent than an elderly person's bowel movements.

  3. Don't denigrate the US Postal Service. It's one of the best things our government provides. Also, origami is not worthy of respect.

  4. M*A*S*H is really about the Vietnam War, dummy.

  5. I hope Mikey dies in a freak pineapple accident. He deserves it for knocking Jim Belushi!

  6. M*A*S*H is set during the Korean War.

  7. Jesus, Mikey, you're a little angry today. You love Jim Belushi and we all know it, your denial makes me question your motives. And f*&k you for trashing K-Mart, you're the most depressing dolt in there buying your Archer Farms sodas and wines to compliment your Summer Rental/Delirious dvd combo pack carefully choosing isles free of ethnic minorities. I hope there's another Korean War so that you get drafted and have your legs blown off, then bleed to death in the medics tent, only to have a sitcom recreate the scene twenty years later so we can f*&king laugh at it!!!!!!

  8. @Jake, yeah, but it was filmed during Vietnam as a thinly veiled satire. More so the movie than the series, and don't get me started, I spent most of 2008 watching M*A*S*H reruns, dozens of them!

  9. "The story of Jesus Christ is pretty sad. Judas was a Benedict Arnold." - i believe it would be "benedict arnold was a judas," asshole.