Good Morning iPhone

By Keelin 

Good morning, iPhone. You are the piece of consumer electronics that I most want and that I least understand. If I had an iPhone, I could be writing this blog post from the bus instead of in a fevered race before I have to leave for work. But then I would have to be part of the iPhone "community." I have declined this kind of communal participation since I found out my honorary citizenship in Disneyland came with a coupon for a hot dog but no protection from U.S. extradition. I certainly hope the iPhone isn't running a racket like that.

Today's iPhone Weather

From what I hear, it doesn't really matter if it's clear or overcast because the iPhone drops so many calls you will probably have to stay indoors using a landline.

Today's iPhone Facts

The internet is abuzz with the rumor that Verizon may start selling the iPhone. Also, last week, a judge ruled that it is totally legal to jailbreak your iPhone. This is exactly the kind of information you care deeply about if you own an iPhone. The rest of you probably just want to hear some more jokes.

Today's iPhone Prediction

In a moment of profound reflection, Steve Jobs will hault production on iPhone 5 and tell us all to go back to using clamshell phones. People will obey, but they will continue putting them in stupid, overpriced cases out of habit.

Sent from my iPhone.


  1. I love that Verizon sign, but I will also stick with my Blackberry.

  2. The electronic device I want the most is a Kindle. If Kaleena and I can manage to get jobs then I will buy one. I also need some more underwear!

  3. Jake, you are so silly -- I can get you one for cheap!

  4. i loved this because i have an irrational hatred of the iphone.

  5. Everyone in this now has an iPhone and Steve Jobs was raptured.


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