Don't You Dare Burn that Qur'aan (Koran)

By Glenn 

When I first heard that our President was going to burn a Qur'aan on September 11th, I was flabbergasted. This is the anniversary of the day that my favorite movie, United 93, was based on. In that movie, a group of strong-willed Americans help re-hijack a plane that has been hijacked by Islamic terrorists. Why would the ostensible President of the United States burn the Holy Book of a religion his father practiced? That would be like me burning the Farmer's Almanac.

Once I looked closer at the issue, I realized that the President wasn't involved. I had been fooled again by the professional right. It turns out that it's a crazy cult-ish pastor in Florida who is trying to burn the Qur'aans as some sort of message to Muslims that Americans are full of ignorant bigots. Hey Terry Jones, we already have John Boehner, Sarah Palin and a bunch of other Republican leaders to do that!

This reminds me of another story, when a moderate Muslim wanted to build a community center close to the financial district in Manhattan. When the proposed site was revealed on the Drudge Report, it brought out some serious soul searching about how we should treat a minority group in this great melting pot that is the United States. The first suggestion was that we simply move the site of Park 51, the community center, to a place further away from the former World Trade Center. Rudy Guiliani suggested it be moved to Shanksville, Pennsylvania but was embarrassed when someone pointed out that is where United 93 crashed. Bill Clinton suggested it be moved to Fort Marcy Park in McLean, Virginia but was embarrassed when someone pointed out that is where Vince Foster was murdered. Eventually someone explained it was a community center and not a mosque so people lost interest.

These two stories are incredibly different but both reflect the Qur'aan verse "Your god is one god; there is no god but He, Most Gracious, Most Merciful." [2:163] The day I burned my first Qur'aan I stood there and looked into the embers thinking to myself: "What have I become? Am I a monster?" In other words, I gazed into the ashes of a Qur'aan and it gazed back into me. Burning the Qur'aan is wrong because burning any holy book is wrong. Religion has done nothing but enrich our lives for the past 170 years (since Mormonism was invented). Don't burn a Qur'aan unless you feel very differently.


  1. "I would like to salute the ashes of American Qur'aans
    And all the falling leaves filling up shopping bags"
    - Jeff Tweedy of Wilco

  2. This was a wonderfully enlightening GM. I learned to hate the world a little more.

  3. What the fuck just happened? Are we burning Korans tomorrow or not? Jesus...this is getting confusing.

  4. I didn't know Vanilla Ice got with one of the Spice girls!

  5. what the hell is this crap?

  6. Anonymous you need to take off that mask and put on a veil!