The Movie Article for Which I Cannot Come Up with a Good Title

By Jake 

Season of the Witch
Not to spoil this for you, but the correct season of the witch is autumn, not winter.
This movie is inspired by, but not a direct remake of the classic Ingmar Bergman film The Seventh Seal. It is about knights fighting with each other and Nic Cage over acting, both of which can be enjoyable, but probably won't be.
Why you shouldn't see this: It is going to be pretty bad. Buy some drugs instead.

Country Strong
Gwenyth Paltrow stars as a country singer. This is a remake of Crazy Heart, I think. The twist is that Gwenyth Paltrow is a woman. This movie could be a hit, I suppose. I wouldn't go see it, but if this is your thing, I will not stop you. You shouldn't see this, but if you are a fan of country music, you will see it. How many movies come out a year about country music? Maybe 30?
Why you shouldn't see this: Because no Animal Collective songs are featured on the soundtrack. Spend the $15 on a new shower curtain.

What I Watched This Week (via Netflix Instant)
Predator 2 - Better than the original. This takes place in 1990s vision of 1997 LA, which is torn apart by gang warfare. Danny Glover is the ultimate cop. He fights the Predator and the audience wins. 6.5/10

Who is Harry Crumb? - It is John Candy. Stupid and dumb movie and features famous child rapist Jeffrey Jones. 4/10 for the 2 times I laughed.

Hot T-Shirts - A movie about wet t-shirt contests-- perhaps the only one. It was actually sort of fun. Cheerleaders vs. townies in the ultimate wet t-shirt showdown. 7/10


  1. Hot T-Shirts is better than Predator 2 and Who is Harry Crumb??*

    Also Season of the Witch is a remake of Halloween III: Season of the Which, which does not feature unstoppable killing machine Michael Myers from the Austin Powers movies. (

    * I didn't mean this to be a very interrogative sentence. I just didn't know how to properly format a question ending with the question mark.

  2. Hot T-shirts is just slightly more fun to watch than Predator 2. Although, it is not the movie for somebody who doesn't like seeing breasts, especially through the translucent window of a wet t-shirt. Who is Harry Crumb? is just dumb and I hate seeing Jeffrey Jones.