Local Business Showcase - Failed Ad Slogans

By Bub 

Wonder Bread - "The poor man's birthday cake"

Veggie Tales - "Because talking vegetables are easier to swallow than Christianity"

Kraft Singles - "Suspiciously cheesy"

Segregationist Tyler Perry Brand Water Fountains - "For Colored Girls Only"

Old Spice - "Slightly rotted"

Hungry Hungry Hippos - "Delight at their starvation"

Denny's - "We know what you've been up to"

Trojan Brand Condoms - "Not just for penises anymore"

R.C. Cola - "Racist's Choice"

Air Tran - "We mechanize the Bernoulli Principle so you don't have to"

Caribou Coffee - "Too good for elk"

Oral B - "Our toothbrushes have never sponsored terrorism"


  1. How could these be failed? Tomorrow I am going to start my day with coffee that is too good for elk, then rub on some Old Spice after I brush my teeth with an Oral B before I catch my AirTran flight on which they will serve Kraft Singles and Wonder Bread sandwiches with Racist's Choice while I watch Veggie Tales on my laptop before I go to watch a live taping of Segregationist Tyler Perry Brand Water Fountains - The Show! Later at Denny's I will play a round of Hungry Hungry Hippos before putting my leftovers in some Trojan magnums and heading home to do it all over again the next day.

  2. Andy needs to comment on the Air Tran one.