Untertainment Weekly (2-04-2011)

By Jake 

MTV is Bringing Back the hit TV program Beavis and Butthead - Why? Will people watch it in 2K11 or is this another attempt at rebooting something that was culturally impactful from the 90s like Ren and Stimpy or saying that things are "spongeworthy?"

Kristen Stewart, the awful Twilight actress, was offered the lead in a live action Snow White remake. Hopefully she turns it down and it doesn't get made.

Charlie Sheen smoked a bunch of coke, got drunk, hung out with a talkative porn star, went to rehab, left after a day or two and is on one of the most popular shows on television. Plus, he didn't get charged with drug possession. Why? Because he's rich and white.

Now Playing in Theaters Everywhere
The Roommate - Fandango describes this movie vaguely: "A college student's roommate has a sinister side." This could be about anything. It could be about Glenn's first college roommate masturbating to porn and leaving it in the VCR for him to find, trying to trigger a homosexual encounter. It could be about my first college roommate begging me to write a paper for him, paying me $50 and I misspell his name on it. It could be about murder, rape, torture or making voodoo dolls. I'm going to assume it's about voodoo dolls or is a remake of Puppetmaster. I will be shocked when this is number one for this weekend, but it will only make $5 million.

Sanctum - This is a James Cameron produced movie, but every time you hear about it they try to make you think James Cameron wrote and directed it and that it is a sequel to Avatar. It is about water and shit like most of his documentaries and his hit film The Titanic. Everybody who goes to see this movie will be sorely disappointed when the opening credits read that this is directed by Alister Grieson, famed director of Kokoda (a movie nobody saw). Did anybody actually like Avatar? I found it very boring and incredibly long. If people did like Avatar, this movie will probably take a little good will away from Cameron. I have seen nothing but bad, punny reviews of this film like it leaves audience "all wet." This movie will be bad, but it will be better than Avatar, a movie that, as far as I could tell, was about an online RPG. At least this is about water.


  1. Kristen Stewart gets more beautiful every time I see her. She will be a great star in the movie "Roommates" based on the website welivetogether.com and the original myspace show "Roommates."

  2. Kristen Stewart doesn't do anything for me. By that, I mean she doesn't give me a boner.

  3. Haha! It IS a Puppetmaster remake!! And Wale stars in it!!!

  4. word! Wale is starring in the new puppet master remake. That is crazy. Rick Ross and his label sure are having a positive effect on his career.