Untertainment Weakly (3-4-11)

By Jake 

Charlie Sheen continues to rant and rave like a drugged up lunatic. I'm pretty sure "Two and a Half Men" is cancelled, thank God. Now he can make "Men at Work 2: Still Working."

Star Wars: The Phantom Menace in 3D will be released February 12, 2012. Start standing in line now.

Speaking of awful shit nobody wants to see, John Travolta will be reuniniting with the cast of "Welcome Back Kotter" for some arbitrary TVLand award show.

Tim Allen and Tom Hanks will be starring in a movie about a ride at Disney. Sound good? No, of course not. Tim Allen is terrible. He's the Martin Lawrence of movies.

Movies Coming Out Today

Beastly - The Twilighting of "classic" tales has begun with this tween-appealing version of Beauty and the Beast. I seriously doubt there are any talking candles or bureaus in this one, sadly. Vanessa Hudgens (High School Musical) stars in this non-musical version as the girl and some guy stars as the "beast" who is just marginally disfigured. It sort of like how in "She's All That" Rachel Leigh Cook is still hot when she is wearing glasses. The other similarity between this film and "She's All That" is they both have bad titles; the biggest difference is that "Beastly" does not have Matthew Lillard in a supporting role. If you are a fan of good movies of Matthew Lillard (mutually exclusive) then do not see this dumbass flick.

Rango - This is the animated tale of a chameleon who finds himself in a Western style town and tries to be a hero. Roger Ebert gave it 4 stars, which is his highest rating, so I would go see this one. It is not in 3D. This might be the first real good movie released this year, no matter what Glenn might say about "Blue Valentine" or his script for "Family Matters: Urkel-bot to the Rescue." Actually, I'm sure some good movies have come out this year, but I just haven't seen anything released in 2011. I'll see this when I can rent it from Netflix.

The Adjustment Bureau - Matt Damon stars as a chiropracter who quits his day job to crack spines over seas for the US government. Matt Dillon stars as Uncle Sam and Julia Stiles plays the famous seemstress, Betsy Ross. I would not see this movie, but I'm sure some people will. Roger Ebert gave this three stars.

Things I Liked This Week

Mr. Sunshine - I watched the pilot of this show last night and thought it was pretty funny. It has an Aaron Sorkin vibe and stars Allison Janney (of the West Wing) and Matthew Perry (West Wing and Studio 60).

This skit from 80s wrestling:

Lykke Li's new album "Wounded Rhymes" - Very good. I enjoyed her first album and was a bit apprehensive listening to this follow-up, as I am with any follow-up to an album I really enjoyed. I was not disappointed at all. Definitely worth a listen, unless you're still stuck on Blind Melon and Soul Asylum.


  1. I didn't like the pilot for Dr. Sunshine and I'm not going to see Rango because it's for children. But I agree with you about the other stuff. And now I'm not going to listen to Lykke Li on principle.

  2. You're too busy listening to "Runaway Train" on a loop.

  3. The only type of music I listen to on a loop is post-drone.

  4. Ha~! You kids and your Lookie Lou!! Rango was pretty to look at but not that great - Ebert must take payola!!!

  5. I liked the idea of payola so much more.

  6. Ebert actually uncovered a payola-type scheme in Hollywood in the late 90s/early 00s. Studios were creating critics and having them say things like "Heath Ledger is a hot young talent" circa A Knight's Tale. Which I guess is better than what critics said about The Dark Knight (the sequel to A Knight's Tale)-- "Heath Ledger is dead."

    I guess it's not really payola, per se, but it's something and I don't know what it is.

  7. Haha!!!! Heath got written out of the script for Life (w/ Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence)

  8. LOL! Beth keeps asking us if we want to watch Life (the documentary series) and everytime I ask if it's the one with Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence. One of these days it will be and we will watch it!


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