Local Business Showcase - States For Sale!

By Bub 

Oh, you want States? Well, brother, I got States. I got any kinda State you'd want! I got green ones and pink ones; funny lookin' ones with handles coming off the sides; even ones with a bunch of roundish shapes floatin' around 'em. You can keep 'em in your pockets, you can put 'em on maps. Heck, you can even go on a vacation to one of 'em! And the best thing is - a State can never tell you it doesn't love you.

Sure, States may be filthy and thievin', but they're real hard workers, and boy, can they cook up a storm! I heard in an email that some of 'em come over the border illegally to have babies here so that they become citizens. That's wrong, if you ask me. My parents didn't come in this country illegally, and none of my ancestors did either. Sure, I feel bad for what they did to the Indians, but it wasn't against the law. That's my point, you see, not that killing Indians is OK - it's not - but it wasn't illegal for our forefathers to do it. They didn't come here to kill anybody. They just had to do it once they were here. They didn't even know so many of 'em would be here!

The pilgrims were being persecuted in their home country so they came here - legally, and killed the Indians - legally. There aint an argument you got that'll change those facts. And don't think for a minute that the Indians didn't kill any white people either, 'cuz they did.

So, yeah, I got some States for sale. If you want 'em make an offer. If not I'll just throw 'em on Craigslist or something.


  1. I'll buy some states. States won't tell you what to do and won't get mad if they catch you masturbating to Ke$ha songs.

  2. I like that you masturbate to the songs, not to Ke$ha! Good god, what a horrifying image *tick tock...*!!!

  3. if i buy one of these states will they get mad if i make them turn tricks? i tried that with the last purchase i made and my mom got mad at me.