Episode 6318: Dancing to the Max
Samuel "Screech" Powers
Principal Richard Belding
A group of kids dance at The Max. Max turns off the music, does some magic and announces a huge Casey Kasem sponsored dance contest. Zack and Kelly are a natural fit, but Slater supposedly is the best dancer. As we all know, Zack was learned how to dance in the episode "Save the Last Dance for Me" of “Good Morning, Miss Bliss.” Yet, he still does not know how to dance. I guess this episode or the episode of “Good Morning, Miss Bliss” was not canon. He challenges Slater to a dance off. Screech asks Lisa on a dance date. Danny asks Jesse out on a kissing date, but he’s too short.
In the girls locker room, Jesse is too tall. She has grown an inch since lunch. I fucking hate Jesse right now, but will love her by the end. She is embarrassed about her height. This is a feeling of which I am all too aware.
In music class, Zack teases the teacher about the status of Beethoven’s death. The teacher responds with a very droll music pun. Unfortunately, poor Mrs. Wickham got her head stuck in a tuba so he has to teach two music classes simultaneously. Slater suggests that "Fat" Tommy should blow her out of it, which the teacher thinks is a good idea. They play some Bach and the teacher leaves the room and all of a sudden the classes are really good at playing their instruments, this is like a musical version of Mannequin. This scene continues to last 100 years. The teacher leaves again and Jesse dances.
Zack goes to Jesse to learn how to dance. He is sickened by the thought of Kelly and Slater having their names on a trophy together. Zack shows his moves to Jesse and she suggests he goes with Screech.
Casey Kasem goes to Mr. Belding to discuss the dance party. Belding offers his services as a co-host and then shows off his unreal twisting abilities. Kasem wants a school banner.
Screech dances with a real doll in the halls of Bayside. He asks Lisa to the dance again, but she has a date. Kelly wants the dance off to happen immediately.
Jesse is teaching Zack how to dance and unleashes her top-secret dance move. She tells him about attending dance camp as a child. Jesse fantasizes about how tall she is--too tall to dance! Zack makes a rain joke then compares her to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
Screech and Slater are hanging out in the locker room. They discuss Screech’s crush on Lisa. Slater thinks Screech is being too hard on himself and consoles him, but stops when a dude sees them because he might think they are fags (Slater’s words, not mine).
Jesse and Zack continue to dance and Zack is about the same height as Jesse. What a dumb bitch!
Lisa shows up to school in a leg brace. Byron breaks their dance date. The gang is upset. Kelly busts out a boombox and wants this dance-off to happen right now. Zack tells her to go to hell, he wants to go with Jesse instead.
Time for the dance-off. Max is working with props. He introduces Casey Kasem, who in turn introduces Mr. Belding, who presents him with a school banner. We skip to the finals. It’s Kelly and Slater (they get a 95) vs. Zack and Jesse (a 90) vs. Screech and Lisa (a 100!!! ). It’s very convenient that all of our favorite Bayside students are the finalists, isn’t it? I think the voting was rigged. Screech and Lisa win and Byron probably feels like a piece of shit, because he is a piece of shit!